Wasp Attack

Last night John was home unexpectedly early so we went out to dinner and shopping. Everything was going great, kids were even in good moods. On the way home we made a quick stop. Well it turned into a real frightening experience. Amber who is always told to let us go ahead of her at all times, ventured ahead of us yet again. In doing so she disturbed a fairly large wasp nest. When a few decided to come flying out and see what the disturbance was she came running and screaming towards us and she fell. John swooped her up and swatted one out of her hair which had already stung her arm. The wasp was so large it looked like a carpenter bee. The wasp fly down and must have been really mad because then it flew right back up and stung John as well. Thankfully that one wasp was the only one that came out of the hive that was on the attack.

We were very fortunate looking back, getting away from all this with only 2 stings, it could have been a lot worse. Poor Amber though she was in pain. John too but he of course handled it like a trooper so he wouldn't scare Amber anymore than she was already. So we headed right to the drug store and got some Benadryl just in case and stuck some cold yogurt we just bought on Amber's arm for the swelling. What an evening!

Then this morning I awoke in a foul mood and have to admit it is still here. Not sure why really, just one of those days. Guess my many, many days of playing the woman with nerves made of steel catching up with me. Last night I went to sleep fully planning on attacking this house today, all day. It is a true mess, my laundry issues are out of control again. I do not mind doing the wash, it is the putting away of wash that does me in. I have mountains of clean wash everywhere and chances are it will all be rewashed. So much for my "green-ness."

Tomorrow is a beach day and I am looking forward to just sitting back, reading and relaxing. I am going to fully remember to slather on the sunscreen so we don't have a repeat of my burnt crisp legs from last week though. Hopefully my cranky mood will be gone long before then.

Odd or Not?

So I was tagged some time ago to reveal my oddities. I decided not to do it, because in doing so, well you'd find out I was a bit "odd." Really revealing oddities is spotlighting your life in a way that usually only those closest to you see you. Sometimes not even those close to you know some things. But I decided what the heck and I will reveal a few things that I don't think are too odd, yet odd enough to be considered an oddity.

I love chicken. I can eat it every day if I had to. I don't even mind chicken on a bone, but once I eat that chicken off the bone, it must be covered. I cannot have a carcass on my plate looking me in the face while I eat. Whenever I eat any sort of chicken on a bone I need lots of extra napkins because I will promptly cover the bones. My husband thinks this is extremely odd, and adds a rest in peace ever time I do not. I do not find it particularly amusing.

Water cannot touch my face. I mean like never. If I must have water on my face, say for washing my face, it must be on a cloth or towel of some sort and it cannot be sopping wet, it must be wrung until it's just damp. I do not wash my hair in the shower ever because the risk of getting water on my face is too much. I wash my hair with my head hung over the side of the tub at such an angle no water runs near my face at all. No splashing near me in a pool, no spraying me with a hose, no thank you! I hate water on my face. The tiniest bit makes me feel as if I may drown, absurd I know. Ocean water is the worse.

When sleeping my feet must be covered all the time and no part of my body can hang off the bed at all. Why? It's totally goes back to boogie man fears as a kid. They do live on, even though I am 31 years old.

I have memory issues and have forgot chunks of my life here or there. There is no reason for this, no head injury, no traumatic event, nothing dramatic at all. Just along the way, usually when people mention things from the past, I realize huge amounts of my memories are gone, completely vanished. Yet there are memories I have that I wish I could forget yet they linger on.

I have an awful gag reflex and I can and do vomit at just the though of something. For instance the other day my husband made a sandwich and insisted I try it, he even went as far as cutting a piece off the sandwich to give to me. The problem? It was mainly tomato on it, and well they skeeve me. I vomited. A lot. It's bad. He didn't get why I couldn't try it. I guess I will end it there, although I am sure there is a lot more that is odd to me. I am sure by now you probably have a slightly different opinion of me than you did before reading this. But what the heck is normal anyway???

Progress with Apraxia

For the first time I feel like Jewel is finally making some real progress with her speech. Other people are starting to understand her a bit more, well people she sees with some frequency anyway. We are at a point where we have to correct some of her grammar which is simply amazing because that means we are understanding her. We notice she is starting to use certain words in improper places. This stuff might worry some parents but for us, it is a God send. Amazing stuff. I mean we have a 4 year old who usually speaks unintelligibly. She has been in speech therapy since she was 22 months old, we have been told by doctors and therapists she has one of the most severe cases of true apraxia they have ever worked with, we are prepared for her to continue with speech for years, yes years, to come. So believe me understanding her improper usage of words and incorrect grammar is wonderful! Is she speaking anywhere near where she should be? Oh no not at all, but this is true progress. Spontaneous words are popping out of her little mouth here and there with such clarity that our jaws drop. Looking at each other every time saying did you hear that? Spontaneous words that she doesn't use frequently are her strong point. I know initially it doesn't make sense but trust me to us it makes perfect sense. She hasn't been using those words incorrectly for the last few years so therefore they are not ingrained wrong into her brain.

Jewel continues to be such a trooper, she is an inspiration to me she really is. She may seem at first like an impatient kid but when you put into the equation that she is a 4 year old with lots of things on her mind and she must fight for others to understand even the simplest things you too would start to understand why she is so amazing. She has patience, lots of it, I wish I had even a fraction of her patience. She lives a frustrating life, essentially living in a world where she speaks her own language and tries to make everyone else understand it. I would do anything to take that away from her, the burden of it is unimaginable. So while others may look at her and see a tough kid to deal with, a challenge, spoiled even, I see an amazing little girl who has risen to the challenge that faces her and I am in awe.

Oh the Pain

What do you get when you take your legs that were not covered in sun block to the beach and accidentally fall asleep on your belly while reading, exposing the backs of your legs, areas of your body that rarely ever see sun to the sun for a good amount of time? The answer, tomato red sun burnt legs that nothing seems to soothe. Try sitting on these bad boys, YIKES!!!!!! I am covered in aloe and Solarcane and also taking Tylenol but nothing at all is helping. So much for my awesomely fun day at the beach, huh?

Crappy day

I am having a rather craptacular day. Yesterday I wasn't feeling too hot, but I assumed that it was just the craziness of the previous day wearing on me. Today I feel even worse. I think maybe I might have a bug or something. In any case my charming little daughters are certainly not helping matters. Today they have decided they would show me their creative sides. Amber by unbending about 50 paper clips and scotch taping them all to a piece of paper. Not bad at all. A contained mess. Cheap enough. Usually she is far more disastrous. But Jewel, well she decided she would serve me up a doozy. She colored my desk with a permanent marker, which I am not even sure where in the world it came from as we tend to keep these things well hidden. For the icing on the cake it also seems we are fresh out of Magic Erasers. I did the best I could to free the desk out the horrible marker but you can still see it was colored a bit. John will certainly notice since the majority of it is smack dab in front of where the keyboard sits. I am hoping when I get the Magic Eraser it will take away the rest of the ugliness. My desk is built it made of wanna be Corian material that is fairly light in color so I am really keeping my fingers crossed. I will also cross my toes and hope tomorrow I am feeling better because I want to hit the beach again. Last weekend, even though we spent the majority of the day there on Saturday, I did not have the best of times since I had a lot on my mind. But tomorrow should we go I will be foot loose and fancy free, book and Ipod in tow, and will enjoy a day at the beach the way it should be enjoyed.

Projekt Revolution

Yesterday I had a whole lot of fun and this morning I am a whole lot of tired. Carlos, I, and his friend and his mom went to PROJEKT REVOLUTION. It lasted from 1 in the afternoon until 11 last night. One thing is for certain, I am old. My ears are still humming and it's driving me insane. The main stage didn't open until 5, so until then we watched shows on the Revolution stage which we were very close to. Maybe even a little too close for comfort because once the crowd surfing and pits got a bit wild I got a bit nervous. I told you, I am old! Forgive the crappy picture quality but "Follow the Rules Holly" only had a camera phone and no actual camera. The pictures include the main stage where Linkin Park was, the revolution stage (Atreyu is in that pic), and Chris Cornell in the middle of a dark field under spotlights singing Black Hole Sun.

The Little Mermaid

Sunflower

I said when one of "Amber's" sunflowers finally bloomed I would post a pic, well one finally popped rather quickly last week and I took a pic but forgot to post it here. So it's a little bit late but here it is! So far it is the only one. I guess it's an early bloomer, and it is already starting to loose some petals sadly, but we have about 10 more buds that look like they will be ready soon.

My mind is jello

Yesterday John and I went to the hospital to visit my grandmother. For those of you who know me and know the story she is doing better than I expected. There is no taking away from the fact she is very ill, but I expected to see her in a much worse condition. I was glad not to. She is starting therapy today to start working her muscles, especially those weakened by the stroke she had last week on the heels of the heart attack that originally sent her to the hospital. Thankfully she was lots of blood thinners for the heart attack, so her stroke was more of a bleed than a clot, therefore it was not as severe as it could of been if she were not in the hospital when it happened.
She is in a hospital I have never visited. Their parking garage was fairly unique, despite the fact it seemed older than the dirt it was built upon, completely automated. When you enter you took a ticket. And when you entered the main lobby of the hospital there were machines where you stuck this ticket in and it told you how much to pay. You then kept this ticket and stuck it in the machine when leaving. So I thought the signs read to pay upon entering the entering. John disagreed, he said it made no sense you paid upon leaving the hospital. Looking back his way made more sense if they charged by the amount of time you were there, I thought it was a flat rate. Well we went back and forth about when to pay and guess who won?
So we are there for a bit over 3 hours. Get back to the parking garage, get out the stub, work the maze to the exit, stick in my stub. Tells me I owed more money. The catch, it doesn't accept money. I hit the call button, it didn't work. I back up to the next lane, and repeat the process. This time the call button works, and the fuzzy voices says I am sending a guard. I see a car pull up and a guard get out walk over to John's side and ask what the problem was. John explains it and the guard looks shocked. He says wait she paid when she went in and not when you were leaving. Yes answers John, so what do we do know. The guard says I have no idea. Ummmm okay. John asks, hasn't anyone done this before? The guard says, never. Ha! I am the ONLY person who read the signs wrong. Ever? For real? So John and the guard proceed to have quite a laugh at my expense.
The guard at this point looks like a bulb goes off he looks at the ticket and see what time we came, looks at the current time and starts counting how long we spent there and tells us what we owe. First he says we need to go inside and pay again, then he says wait that won't work, then he says to pay him he will let us out. I am thinking, this guy can just let us out and wants a few bucks but at this point I don't give a flying fig because we now have quite a line behind us as well as people passing us in the next lane looking at us like we are idiots. So we pay him he swipes a card and we are free from automated parking garage hell.
Only me, would something like this happen to. I remember there was once a time I was an intelligent person. My mind was not such a bowl of jell-o. I could at the very least follow simple directions that the rest of the general population seemingly have no problems with. I often wonder where that chick went, some days I miss her.

Picture Update

A few pictures, from the last month or so. I finally found the USB cord from Carlos' camera so I finally got the pictures we have taken lately. These are from the aquarium, Carlos' graduation, and one from a trip Carlos took to Philly. I don't have any from Carlos' actual graduation ceremony because I have to edit them since they are all very dark. I will work on them though, better late then never, right? The one of Jewel sitting on the floor is of her and her friend Ana. I love that she has become a little social butterfly, well when she is in a good mood anyway. Enjoy! (If you would like to see us a little larger you can click on the individual pictures.)

Hormones

Yesterday Carlos and I decided to go to a few garage sales before the baseball picnic. We had to go to the ATM before doing so. Walking into the store there was a girl about 18 or so walking in as we were scantily clad in only a neon green bikini. Not so uncommon around here since we live in a beachy community, I really thought little of it to be honest. On the way out I gave a couple dollars to a girl about Carlos' age standing there collecting money for some sport, not even sure what, I just felt sorry for her standing out there on a Saturday, in the heat.

So we get in the van and Carlos say whoa that girl was HOT. Oh geez here we go. I say nothing, although I assume he was talking about the girl I just gave the money to. Then he says you saw her right, the girl in the green bikini. I screech, "C-A-R-L-O-S." He asks "what?" I tell him that girl was way older then he was and he says yeah I like them older, and I then tell him to stop talking to me.

We start driving and he says oh I think I see a sign. (Remember we were going to garage sales.) I say I hope you mean a sign from God. He says what do you mean? I said I think you need to go home and start praying or something kid, you are thinking about things far beyond your years and need some guidance. (He is 12 by the way.) He is sitting there cracking up. I tell him I am disappointed that he didn't say the girl was pretty but choose the word hot, I told him I am disappointed he didn't notice the girl his age but the older girl, I went off on a total mommy tangent. In any case we found a couple garage sales and I bought my husband a paper shredder since his died and my sister a few knick knack elephants.

So later on the way to the baseball picnic I tell John about the whole "hot girl" incident and Carlos pipes in from the back seat from the van "Dad you should have seen her she was REAL hot." UGH, the hormones of a 12 year old boy are something this mother is not prepared to deal with.

Mary Poppins

Yesterday I scored at the thrift store. I found a cassette. Abba's greatest hits. =) I was telling John about how the Broadway musical Mama Mia was made into a movie and I wanted to go see it when it came out. We got into a discussion about musicals were not his thing, which I knew, about how I had always wanted to see a Broadway show, which he can't understand, he started to ask about Stomp. I told him that I recently heard Mary Poppins was on Broadway and Amber overheard this. Mary Poppins is one of her favorite movies. Suddenly she asks how did Mary Poppins get to Broadway. I had the most hysterical fit of laughter I have had in a long time. I found the question so innocent and yet so funny at the same time then Carlos tells her she used her umbrella to fly there. Amber seemed quite satisfied with the answer.

1950's?

Last night we were driving in the car. There was a call in radio show on, like a dedication type show, maybe some of you have heard it, the host is Delilah. In any case this man calls in to request a song for his wife and he starts talking about her, how great she is, she wakes up every morning and makes breakfast for him and sees him off to work, takes care of the kids all day, and has a hot meal for them when he gets home and Delilah says wow I feel like I have stepped back into the 1950's. They start talking about how she bakes, wears an apron, stuff that *I do. I see John smirking, I know what he is about to say. And then he says it. Did you hear that, he asks? I lie. No, what. He says, oh nothing you would have had to hear it. I lied because, some people already think I am a bit weird for doing that stuff. John doesn't think I am weird, he actually is proud of the way I am I think. And he thinks I look hot in my apron too by the way.

Anyway I have gotten into this discussion before with some people. And I guess some people think in 2008 it is a bit odd for a wife to tend to a husband like I do. I see it a bit different. He is our provider. He works his butt off for this family day in and day out. If that means I get up at 5am when I do to make him a hot breakfast to start off his day and pack him a great lunch then that is what I am going to do. If we are hanging out watching television and we decide to have a snack I am going to go prepare it. If he needs something I am usually going to be the one to go get it. Does he protest, you bet he does. He doesn't like the fact that I do things for him that he is perfectly capable of doing on his own. But what I do for him is minute in comparison to what he does daily. He has a very physically and mentally demanding job. Then he comes home and what does he do? Does he veg out with a cold one in front of the TV? No way he is a father to his children, he is a husband to me, he is the fixer all of things broken, he is so much I can't even put it into words. So in return I treat him the way he should be treated. Does that make me trapped in a time warp? No. It makes me thankful and appreciative. And in retrospect, I shouldn't have lied and told him I didn't hear what was said yesterday and when he gets home today I will tell him so. I will tell him I appreciate him.

Looky look......

I blog about pretty much everything, wellllll, almost everything. But I did not blog about my attempt at gardening this year because I am awful at it. I kill pretty much everything. My daughter started sunflowers in dixie cups from seeds which are now about 3 feet tall. She claims they are hers but we all know who really takes care of them, I just let her take the credit, you know it's all that lovely part of the mom job. =) But I take full credit for the container tomatoes. They have actually produced something that looks edible. I say looks edible because I sure am not trying it. I am growing them for the simple joy of it and because my husband likes tomatoes which I rarely buy because I forget since they repulse me. In any case I proudly present you an edible enough looking tomato however ugly it may be. My first tomato. I hope to in the next few weeks be showing you *Amber's beautiful blooming sunflowers.

Girlfriends

Last night we were shopping in what will remain an undisclosed store due to prejudices against it, so take a guess, LOL. In any case my daughter, Amber, who will be 6 in September sees a little girl she knows and they run to each other and do the whole hug and smiles all around thing. The mother who missed this all because she was getting a cart kind of walked toward us catching the tail end of it and I suppose recognized Amber from school or day care and said to her daughter to say hi to her friend "don't be ignorant like that." I think my jaw hit the floor with an audible thud. Now the word ignorant was one I heard often growing up, it seemed to be a word of choice in the ghetto. There were a few words and phrases of choice. Ignorant, trifling, hoe, yo mama, word, jeepers, switching, those are just a few I can think of off the top of my head at 6am. Anyway when this child's mother said ignorant to her 5 or 6 year old it flooded my mind with memories, not especially good ones.

Amber said her good byes and as we walked away I asked John did you hear all that. I explained it all to him and also explained that the mother did not even give the girl the benefit of the doubt and that when she was away for a good few minutes the girls did speak, but she automatically jumped all over the girl. I really felt bad for the kid. Later I asked Amber what her friend's name was and she told me her name was "V." I had an AHHHH moment, it was all making sense. Amber the same V from daycare last summer? Yes. The same V you told me was so mean all the time? Yes. AHHHHH. Maybe, just maybe, she is so mean all the time because she learned it from Mommy???? Just a thought. The apple never falls far from the tree, learned behavior and all that fun stuff.

Something else also struck me as funny though. Amber and V greeted each other as though they were the best of friends. Girls always did this in my experience. Smiles, hugs, and fakeness all around, face to face. Then the claws came out behind the backs. Amber never ever had a single nice thing to say about this girl. She is mean, I don't like her, she doesn't share, she says nasty things, I won't play with her anymore. Then they see each other and it's sunshine and lace. I was never like that, ever. I was always one who dealt it like I felt it. I guess that's why I was never one with very many girlfriends. I am glad Amber has learned at an early age not to be like I was. Or at least to let bygones be bygones. Having girlfriends is important. You really don't learn that until you don't have very many. Is having girlfriends worth the expense of being a little "fake" sometimes, I don't know, but I struggle with that sometimes.

Webkinz anyone?

I have a slight addiction. It'd say it's a monkey on my back, but in reality it is a cocker spaniel and a mini schnauzer. It's Webkinz. In case you have never heard of it check it out here. I heard about Webkinz sometime ago when some friends of mine were playing it, their kids were playing it, they said it was fun. I kind of dismissed it. At the time I was into Pogo. Well, not sure how Webkinz happened to come into my life, oh wait it was around Valentine's Day when I bought each of my kid's one. But since then it is a bit of an addiction. Until yesterday I just had my mini schnauzer, Johnny Rocket. Yesterday I added the cocker spaniel Muffin. I log into Webkinz daily and do the daily activities and play a few of the games, specifically Lily Padz, Polar Plunge and Quizzy's Word Challenge. I have a very addictive personality and thank goodness my addictions are always innocent ones like this. Tart, cloth diapers, books, magazines, recipes collecting. I heard there are whole Yahoo groups of moms who play Webkinz though so I don't feel all that bad when my husband stands there and shakes his head at me laughing.

The Bomb

Well another day another drama. I have decided I need to rearrange my son's chore list because it seems he cannot complete the one's he is given. They are not hard, I don't think. They are a bit gross, but hey that's all part of having pets. I remember as a kid my mom saying she thought we didn't do a good job at something in a an effort to try to get out of it and as a kid that did not make much sense to me. But now I understand it completely. And I think my son does too. So today I have to rethink his chores, I have to think up chores that he can't so much mess up. I have to make him weekly list and enforce the lists. He is dead set against lists, though I am not sure why, he seriously needs reminders. I refuse to be his daily reminder. I myself have lists to remind myself of things. He feels lists are childish I suppose, if they are I am extremely childish because I have a list for everything, and I do mean everything. This whole thing is a subject I have to approach with caution because this kid is like a one of those little bombs in a cartoon you can kick it all over and just when you think it is a dud and won't explode, BAM, in your face! Oh just wait until he hears we decided he cannot go to Hershey this week with his friend and his family. I am not looking forward to that explosion.

Friends

About five years ago I met a great group of women. These women have been there through thick and thin. I love them like they were sisters. We share with each other some of our most intimate thoughts, our joyous occasions, our losses, our hurt, births, deaths. You name it we have probably gone through it together. Had it not been for these women I probably would never have breastfed my daughter for as long as I did, I probably would never have been introduced to the addictive world of cloth diapering, I probably would parent far different from I do, and I would be lonely. You see they are really some of my bestest friends.

There hasn't always been harmony, we have had our trials and I think maybe it has made us stronger in a sense. We accept each other for who we are, faults included. We seem to understand each other to a degree that is fairly unusually, I think in our situation. See we have never met. Well, scratch that a few of us have, some of us have spoke on the phone here or there. We are scattered throughout the country. We met through message boards when we were pregnant with our babies who are now 4 years old.

I understand a lot of people think this is starnge. Friends with people you have never met, how do you know who they really are, maybe one's a man, etc. People don't get it. That's okay though I have become accustomed to people not understanding, I have realized a lot of people think this is strange, some people think we can't really be true friends. But little do they know there are few truer friends than we are. John, my husband, at first thought this was the strangest thing ever, friends you can't physically go see, Holly you are nuts. But after all these years he has become so used to them being part of my life, he doesn't even question it or bat an eye anymore.

If I won the lottery, literally the very first thing I would do, after someone revived me of course, would be to arrange a meeting for us. I so wish we lived closer to one another so that wouldn't be necessary. I would have this get together and plan for one at least yearly. I want our children to play, bond, grow close like we have. Is that asking for too much, LOL? Each one of us brings a bit of ourselves to the group of us, the dynamic we have is awesome, and I want our families to share that. Now you think I am crazy, huh?

Well, anyway really there is no point to all this except to say I have some of the best friends ever, no I never met them, but they are as real as you are sitting there reading this. Each of the four of them mean the world to me, and I thought I would let everyone know. =)

Freckles

So yesterday the doctor was a minor success. After being told months ago by a whacked out MA at the doctor's office John's sleep study was totally normal, we found out yesterday that is not entirely true and the doctor wants him to see a lung specialist. In the meantime he is on a medication to help with the fatigue, but we have to see if insurance approves it, otherwise they cost $528 a month.

While at the office I asked John for a magazine to lean on to write a check. I wrote the check and then checked out the mag. To my surprise, there on the cover of a high end fashion mag was a freckle faced model. She was right there-on-the-COVER. Now being freckled I have gone from completely hating them to finally just accepting them, not necessarily loving them though. Society has taught us anything but porcelain clear skin is just not a sign of beauty. Magazines show people who I know have freckles as freckle less. Makeup artists cover them. It's like an erase the ugly movement or something. Past a certain age, I am thinking 10 or so, freckles are just not cute anymore. But hot dog this MODEL had them, and lots of them, on the cover no less.

John goes on his tangent about how he told me freckles look good, blah, blah, blah. I mean, hello, he is my husband, I have freckles, what is he supposed to say. Yeah he wasn't always my husband, of course I had the freckles when we met, why I choose to believe he is only blowing sunshine up my butt about them I am not sure. Anyway I contained my excitement in front of him seeing this model full of freckles. I felt vindicated in a way, like yes freckles can be pretty, and maybe even exotic. I look through the whole magazine taking in every picture of her. Wow, she is really pretty. Now maybe I can do more than just feel okay about my freckles, maybe I can learn to embrace them, dare I say like them. I doubt that all will happen, this chick had far more going on for her than just freckles. She had that perfect model body, beautiful teeth, a nice nose. All things I lack. But none the less it was an awesome moment, a moment I saw freckles not being hidden, something I have tried to do my whole life. How wonderful.

Looking for answers

Well plans have changed. The window is not going to be replaced until tomorrow. They can't get one from the warehouse in time or something like that. No biggie I guess. Today John has a doctors appointment. For years (yes I mean years, no exaggerating) he has not been right. He goes through these bouts of extreme fatigue, muscle aches, inability to stay awake even when driving which scares me lifeless. This all began when he was diagnosed with mono when Amber was a baby, so almost 6 years ago. The effects it seems never fully went away despite the fact they claim his levels are within range, and not active. He has had blood tests (lupus, lymes, thyroid, etc), a sleep study, an EKG. Everything has come back normal. One doctor even suggested he was depressed and put him on medication which after a couple of weeks he stopped taking because of how it was making him feel. My husband who is a big guy literally couldn't stand while taking this medication due to dizziness. Anyway my husband, depressed? No way. (After all he is married to moi. Just kidding of course) He didn't believe it, I didn't believe it. The doctor said he was depressed after learning he was married. Yes that was his diagnosis. We called bullshit!

In any case he has seen at least 3 doctors over the course of these years and only one of them has even listened to him, took him seriously, not dismissed him because he appears to be a healthy 29 year old man. We are seeing that doctor again today, it is our only hope it seems. He is not right, no healthy person falls asleep while driving, no healthy person suffers the way he has for so long. Someone has to help him, he doesn't deserve to feel this way. John thinks it is a waste of time going because no one has helped so far. Please keep your fingers crossed for him. We need answers! He needs to feel well.

July already?!?!?!

Happy July! Time is just flying by, no?

This is how our June ended. A quick trip to Home Depot resulted in a broken window on the truck. I am just glad the kids weren't sitting back there. A couple hundred dollars later and today we will have a new window.

Happy days

Happy Thursday! It's been a good day. The kids haven't been acting nuttier than squirrel poop like usual. I don't think there's been one tantrum today from anyone so far. ::knocks on wood:: I didn't quite get the jump on the laundry this morning like I intended. I went food shopping and to run some errands instead. After the errands I put in a movie totally intending to watch as I folded laundry, but the movie just sort of took over. In Her Shoes. It was a great movie, total chick flick. I am now going to have to read the book to compare, I have to add it to my mile long list I guess. I don't have much to talk about, as you can tell, but just wanted to jump on and say Happy Thursday, but I said that already. Who cares if the sun is not always shining and the birds aren't always chirping? Who cares if your dog woke you up 10 times during the night? Who cares if your dog doesn't stop barking (dogs bark, kids cry yada, yada) well just who cares? Everyone needs to let the little things go (even if that means having some help doing so) and just let life happen. Be happy for what you have and who you are and stuff like that, because that's all that matters. Let the little things GO!

Disclaimer: This blog was not intended toward anyone specifically. Well, maybe it was just a little bit.

Happy Bibs

Jewel thought my bibs (her word for breasts) needed to be happy. What a little nut! I now also have happy shoulders and a happy belly button too.

Jewel

Jewel has listen to No One by Alicia Keyes about 6 times now. I was thinking she would like some of the other songs on the CD, but no, just No One. I have to download the Cha Cha Slide too because she loves the song and likes dancing to it. She does pretty darn good too. The picture with this post is of a chicken nugget she got from Wendy's last week. She insisted we keep the "heart."

Don't Know If I Can Do It

I need to somehow muster up the strength, will, and patience to deal with my kids today. All 3 will be home all day because Carlos is not allowed out today after arriving home from a party last night at 10pm, but that's a whole other story. (It was supposed to end at 5pm, so figure it out) I have a whole bunch of errands to run. One of those is taking Carlos to get his summer reading books, he has to read 3. He is mad we are going now. Last summer he could not manage to read even one, but he thinks it is far to early to start his 3. They have all been arguing with each other already, it looks like it will start raining soon so taking them outside to burn off their energy doesn't seem possible. The nerves of steel I am said to have feel more like nerves of a cooked noodle today.

Scott Kalitta

Why do media outlets feel it is necessary to show every single gory detail of some stories? The big story in NJ this weekend is that of A NHRA drag racer that was killed at a local drag strip. Our family actually made our first trip there 2 weeks ago to watch monster trucks and drag races. So anyway our NJ News 12 has decided to play over and over the actual accident including 2 explosions. This man crashed into a wall going over 300 MPH, why not leave the results to one's imagination?

What are they thinking? I suppose the same thing they were thinking a couple years ago when they had a helicopter over the area where 3 young boys were missing and a family member opened a car trunk to find them. Watching this grown man break down as he opened the trunk to see those kids, why, why, did News 12 play this over and over? I will never understand. I will also never forget, it has been one of those images that are forever stuck inside your head. Why are they replaying this accident over and over? Again I do not understand. How about showing some clips of the gentleman's life? Wouldn't that be a bit more appropriate? I say yes. Wouldn't that make the station seem a bit less sleazy? Again I would answer yes. Do you think that the news even mentioned that Scott Kalitta who was 46 years old is leaving behind a wife and two young sons? Well if you answered they probably mentioned it or at least touched on it, you are wrong. Did they mention he raced for over 17 years winning the championship 2 of those years? Nope.

This is all stuff I looked up and found out on mine own, even though I have little interest in racing. Why? Because this man deserves a bit more respect than was shown to him and his family by our local news station. Our news station was not the only one who showed this footage, I understand ESPN did as well, along with some ISP's like AOL. But I have a bone to pick with our news station, because they seem to have an awful habit of this. In any case here is a link to the Kalitta racing site, they have removed everything except a tribute to Scott and an email address to send condolences too. Rest In Peace, Scott I am sure in weeks and months ahead the family will read all those condolences and see how many people gave a moment to say they are sorry for their loss, and maybe their heavy hearts will be lighten a bit.

Links, Links, and more links!

There is a blog I have become addicted to. You can check it out here. I admire this woman. I adore my crock pot, I swear I do, but am not sure if I could cook in it every single day. I have cooked in it the last three days though. I think it may be a record for me. The reason is partly because I am too darn lazy to put it away, so I keep washing it and reusing it.

Today I am making Lemon and Herb CrockPot Roasted Chicken Recipe in it. The picture is of my chicken after it's been cooking an hour or so, it is a bad picture, sorry, but the smell already is awesome! Yesterday I made CrockPot Chocolate Frito Candy Recipe in it. The day before I made ribs in it. I used my own recipe for those though. No, no that's not entirely true, I used ideas my sister gave me. (BTW if you check out my sister's blog, which she rarely updates, comment her and tell her to WRITE, for me pretty please!)

Anyway check out A Year of CrockPotting , it is great and she has lots of nifty links off of her site as well. And if you don't own or never cooked in a crock pot before, DO IT!!!!! You will not be sorry.

Oh one more thing, while I am linking like mad today. Check this out. The Cutest Little Girl Sings! I never watch the show that is from so I do not know how old it is or how she did after she moved on, but isn't she the most darling little girl????

Tilt-A-Whirl Horror

Last night we took the girls to the boardwalk. They had fun, we used the very last ticket as it started pouring rain. The drops were so big and so so cold, but it was fun still. I decided to go on one of the rides with the girls. The Tilt-A-Whirl. This was my favorite ride when I was a kid, my very favorite. I can honestly say that if I never set foot on a Tilt-A-Whirl again I will be happy. I was so extremely dizzy and out of sorts by the second rotation. Amber decided to sit in her own car and occasionally as Jewel and I whipped by her I saw her two hands up in the air, holding onto nothing, having a blast. Jewel was sitting next to me giggling the whole time. Somehow during the sickening circular horror I remembered Jewel has no sense of dizziness. She has very minimal post rotary nystagmus. If she gets spun in circles and quickly stopped her eyes do not shift side to side like the average person's. Spinning does nothing to her, she can be spun in a circle 25 times and walk a straight line, so she was loving this circular stimulation. I on the other hand was wondering if those yummy spare ribs we just finished before we left the house were going to make a reappearance right there on the ride. They did not thank goodness but only because I chomped down on my bottom lip so hard I have a little hole there today.

Anyway the girls had an absolute ball on all the rides, they were pretty upset we didn't play games in the arcade, but that's okay I am sure they are over it by now. It was a really enjoyable night despite the fact I felt sick, even upon waking to let the dog out during the middle of the night. No more Tilt-A-Whirl for my over 30 year old behind!

Advice needed

The last day of school was today as I mentioned earlier this morning. My son, that dear boy, has disappointed me in a huge way. He has managed to get average to below average to failing in all but one of his core classes. ACK!!!! Not due to lack of intelligence (well....), I mean he is a smart kid but he DOES NOT apply himself, he blows off work, he procrastinates. I do not know what to do, I just don't. I have spoken to his teachers in the past, that didn't work. I have spoken with his guidance counselor, that didn't work. I have restricted him until he started showing progress, that worked a wee bit, but not much. I have tried the opposite and said we are starting fresh despite you are not doing well, you will slowly lose things if you do not work to your potential, and that didn't work.

Next year he is starting middle school, a whole new ball game. He is going from a class of 65 6th graders to a class of 400 7th graders, because our middle and high schools are from many townships, not just ours. I have a feeling he will only drift even further. Today when I mentioned he may not be playing sports in the fall because of his grades he seemed a little rattled. Is that all he cares about? Who cares, if it is I will use it, unfortunately I am not sure that will be enough motivation either.

I need advice, ideas, suggestions. What do I do now? School is out for the summer, should he still be on some type of restriction? Do I make him do academic work for me this summer? I just don't know, I am out of ideas. Help! Leave comments, email me, anything. Even criticism, if constructive.

On a proud note he won first place out of all 6th graders in his school for a safety poster contest. He drew a match stick that had legs, arm, and a flaming head that said in a word bubble, "Don't play with me I am dangerous." Also at the promotion ceremony last week, he won the Spanish award, there was only one given out for the whole 6th grade. I was proud, he looked shocked!

Last day

The last day of school is here. The kids have all their end of the year gifts ready. Everyone is dressed except for Jewel who is protesting her clothes as usual. Next year I will only have 2 kids in our school district since my oldest is moving onto middle school. Wowzers I feel OLD! Carlos will now be a 7th grader, Amber will be in 1st, and Jewel will continue with one more year of the disabled preschool program. The end of the year is always bittersweet for me because I won't have to fight these kids to get ready every morning, but I also will be referring a heck of a lot more compared to when they spend most of the day away from each other. Ahhhhhh, summer.

Mistaken Identity

I am a book junkie lately. I have been going through one after another. I am currently reading a heart wrenching book. It is about a horrific car crash and equally horrific circumstances that follow. A survivor's identity is confused with that of a girl who dies in the crash. I am only about half way through the book, so far it is a wonderful read although painful. Knowing that the family by the survivor's side are going to find out that that is not their child, that their child is dead and buried, like I said heart wrenching. But there is a message in this book that I believe is the reason the families wrote it. A message of faith. As I read it I find myself finding comfort in their strength. I find myself jealous of the magnitude of their beliefs. I also find myself never wanting to let my loved one's go, seeing how fast their lives changed, in the blink of the eye essentially, it is a scary thought. If you want to read a bit about the story of what happened you can look here. It is the story from USA Today, you may find yourself recalling this as you read, it did make national headlines at the time. If you want to check out the book, look here.

The only thing I miss about blogging on Myspace is not being able to list the books I am reading so I think you may find me mentioning them here from time to time. Before this current book I read Valerie Bertinelli's book which I have to say was super revealing. It also was a good read.

Lonely on my anniversary???? YES!

Happy anniversary to you, Happy anniversary to you, Happy anniversary dear Holly & John......oh wait where is John? That's right still at work at almost 7pm. Lonely me. So I just ordered pizza for the kids and I guess I will read my book until it's time to ready the kids for bed. Who knows when John will get home because he forgot his phone here this morning. So how was my day? I spent the whole day fielding calls on his phone, fun, fun!

Not until this weekend, I seriously had no clue that today was our anniversary. He reminded me, which is bad, because I usually am good with dates like that, but I had no clue. Did he remember this morning though? Nope, I did though, and I didn't say a word so I can use it against him. Hehe!

Bad Neighborhood

I am so glad that I live in such an area that my children have no idea of "unsafe." Here is a conversation that occurred today while the girls were sitting at the table waiting for lunch.

Amber: Mom our town is not a good place to live.

Jewel: Yea!

Me: Why do you say that?

Amber: Stuff around here is just so wrong.

Jewel: Yea!

Me: Like what?

Amber: Well first of all look at these nasty birds, that little bird (pointing outside) keeps chasing the big bird.

Jewel: Yea Mama!

Amber: It is just not a safe town to live in here, you know?

Me: hysterically laughing at this point I am unable to speak.

MONSTER TRUCKS

Last night we went to the Monster Truck show!!!! WOW!!! That's all I can say. It was awesome. Not only did we see the monster trucks, we also watched many drag races and a spiral suicide leap by a stunt driver. They also had cartoon characters there, Sponge Bob, Dora, Spiderman, to name a few. All the kids enjoyed it. Especially Jewel, which surprised me. The kids all wore protective head phones through the show so Jewel did a lot of signing to me. She was signing more, more. She was signing about the cars breaking when the trucks drove over them. It was great. Carlos & Amber also seemed to really like the show.

I am so glad start time was at 7pm because by then it cooled down a wee bit and a little breeze came. Yesterday was miserably hot, today and tomorrow will be as well. We didn't get home until after 11 last night which is the latest I have been out in years! Today Carlos is headed to a minor league baseball game with his grandfather and we are headed to the beach. I just wanted to stop in and let you all know if you have the opportunity see a Monster Truck show, GO! I never thought I would be the type of person to not only go see it, be excited by it, and really enjoy it. Surprises never cease.

PS Pictures to be posted soon. I actually took my camera and not just my phone so I have to upload them.

Summer starts now =(

Most consider Memorial Day the official start of summer. To me, summer starts when the heat begins. That is this weekend. We are in for a heat wave. Meaning 3 days over 90. They say it will be near 100 this weekend, they are saying it will be cooler in Miami. UGH. I hate the heat, HATE it with a passion. We will be spending the weekend trying to stay cool.

(In case you are wondering the giraffe crossing sign is something I came across at the zoo. I feel a kinship to the giraffe, and if you know me, you know why. So I decided to just stick it here, because it's my blog and I can.)

Stay cool, stay safe, and live green. =)

Nothing's new here

I have been slacking on blogging, and I have no motivation. But not much is going on here, nothing too interesting anyway. Last weekend we went to an air show and that was awesome. This weekend we are going to a Monster Truck show which is so not like us at all, but are thinking it might be fun. We are also going to hit the beach for the first time this year this weekend. We've been busy, busy with the end of the school year. Carlos especially has a lot going on. Last night was his spring concert, baseball is wrapping up, promotion is next Friday, his 6th grade dance is this Friday. See, busy! So that's about it here.

Finally!

Carlos finally let me cut his hair! Hooray! Before and after pics are shown, one on Sunday and the other on Monday. What finally convinced him to cut his hair you may wonder? He asked this girl he seems to be pretty fond of how she would like his hair better, and she said short, so he went short. And so it begins. But his hair is cut! =)

My husband, I love him so!

My husband, the big kid at heart, was riding his bike yesterday! Now I was recording him on my phone and had no intentions of posting it here, that is until he told me to put the phone away because he knew I would be posting this on my blog. Well the nerve. So I thought since I was being accused in any case, I would post here. As his 29 year old self was impressing our children with his "stunts" I was not so secretly hoping he would pull, twist, or sprain something and have to call out of work today. Bad wife I am!

Cat Attack (also some prayers needed)

We have a cat. Her name is Tiger. We adopted her about 6 years ago. She is between 7-8 years old, not really sure. Tiger has been a good cat, never has gone potty anywhere but the litter box. I never had any issues with Tiger until maybe a year ago. Tiger decided she hated me and decided she would start showing me regularly how much she hates me. This damn cat attacks me for no good reason whenever the mood strikes. I can be laying in bed and she will creep over to me, and I have gotten to a point where I can prepare for it now it has happened so many times, and just attack me, usually my head. John & I sit on the couch after the kids go to bed at night and watch TV, the cat has also decided this is a great time to attack me. She will come running across the living room and take a flying leap at me!

What the heck? What have I done to her? I feed her, give her water, change her little box, let her sleep wherever she sees fit, even though it usually involves leaving a pile of cat hair on my blankets. She still hates me. Now the attack itself usually is not too bad, you see she is declawed and has lost quite a few teeth so she can't do much harm. In any case, harm or no harm, I do not like being attacked by a pet that I care for. You would think the picture above is cute and all until you hear the truth, the reason is paw is out is because she was swinging at me because I was too close to her. Moody little thing!

I would also like to ask for prayers for the family of rapper Xzibit, who has become a household name due to his work with MTV and Pimp My Ride. He lost a son yesterday who was born into this world too soon and lost his battle to survive. The following is his blog post, you can feel his heartache through his words.

Monday, May 26, 2008

ITS 4:32AM AND I HAVE SOME BAD NEWS........
AS you all know, I shared with you the announcment of my newborn son Xavier Kingston Joiner on may 15th and also informed you that he was born prematurly. well this week was extremly difficult for him because his lungs were not strong enough to handle regular oxygen on his own. Xavier passed away this morning at 3:30am and I must tell you this, It is unatural for a parent to bury a child. I am telling you this because of the same reason I tell you when im having great times, life is too short to be fake. Hold on to your kids if you have them, protect them and show them you love them everyday you wake up and see them, dont take a second you get to hug them teach them and care for them for granted. You can have all the material wealth in the universe but it is NOTHING compared to having your family. I am thankful for all of my blessings and im not one to question God's perfect plan, so I leave you with great love and thanks for the love that was sent earlier on my pervious blog to my son. Of course I need to take some time and handle my loss, STAY FOCUSED PEOPLE. Its not promised to any of us.R.I.P Xavier May 15th 2008- May 26th 2008

Maybe he loves me after all........

I think despite the fact that my son acts like my mere existence is somehow a burden to him, he just may love me. He wore this shirt yesterday for Special Person's Day. I went to school to have lunch with him. By the way his shirt says My Mom Rocks in case it's too small to read. I bought the shirt for him months ago as a joke, never thinking he would actually wear it, and what a shocker I got when he wore it yesterday. I have said it before and I will say it again. For everyone who swears that girls are so much harder than boys, especially in their pre-teems, you have not met my son! He is an emotional rollercoaster. He has his highs, lows, these drastic twists and turns, and the loops, oh the loops!

Monkey on Her Back

You know those types of parents, you see them out and you stare. You wonder why they treat their children that way. You think to yourself you never did that or never would do that. You think it's cruel, humiliating, treatment meant for an animal. You think if the parent would only pay more attention. Well I know what you think, I thought all this too, until now. Now I am that parent who will probably be getting the stares. I bought Jewel a "leash."

It is actually a backpack looking harness that is a monkey and the tail is the "leash." I do not walk her around by the tail part. I loop the tail on my wrist as the safety and I make her hold my hand. The tail is on my wrist for when she breaks free from my hand, because I know she will. Did I ever think I would be the type of parent who would use one of these types of things on their children? No way. Was there a time I looked down on people that did? Sure was. That is until about 3 years ago or so until I heard the stories of a few parents who had children who made them necessary, then I understood. I am now one of these parents.

Most of you are probably thinking, control your child. You are the parent. Look, I know this. Things are not always black and white, there are shades in between. When you have three children, which in reality is not all that many, sometimes your attention is a little diverted at the exact second your child decides to dart across an area that is unsafe, sometimes deadly. It happens, to the best of us, and no I am not making excuses. Jewel has some issues; her speech issue, some sensory issues, yes behavioral issues. I know some people that know me and our family may feel I treat her differently and am a little softer on her than I am on the other kids, and this may be true in some sense. But I think until you are a parent of a child with special needs, you can't really understand the thought process. Or maybe my thought process is a little skewed? My thought is Jewel faces so many obstacles in day-to-day life, so many things we take for granted are a challenge to her, so I pick and choose my battles with her. Why make things more of a battle for her, why make life tougher? Do I let her get away with blatantly horrid things, no. Do I let what I consider small things to slide sometimes, do I let her meltdown and ignore it, do I reward her when she gets home from school daily with a bag of M&M's, yes, yes, and yes.

So anyway I did get Jewel a harness buddy because I feel her running off is a dangerous behavior that we need to correct. She has run into the middle of streets, parking lots, through stores and we can't find her, and so on. I hold her hand with her "tail-leash" wrapped on my wrist in case she breaks the hold of my hand. The idea is to get her used to holding my hand. She hates her monkey buddy and I am using that as a tool. I told her as soon as she learns to walk nicely, not let go of our hand, etc she wouldn't need monkey anymore. Yesterday was our first day with monkey. She has already escaped the harness without even unclipping it, we got a few looks, but I know this will take some time and the looks well we will have to suck up and deal with, because I used to give those looks and karma sucks. But my Jewel will be safe in the meantime.

And It Is Over

Alright so the world did not stop spinning when the winner of American Idol was announced last night and it was not my Lil' David. I love that kid, I do. My first thought, in all honesty, was oh no, his father is probably going to come down on that poor kid like a ton of bricks for not doing good enough because he seems like a Joe Jackson type of stage dad. They talked to lil' David's dad's dad last night and he said he was proud of his son (meaning David's dad). HUH? Your grandson is on stage singing you moron, not your son. Okay so your son pushed your grandson to where he is but come on. Stage parents, not a topic I should get started on, so let's move on.

Anywho, I think both David's will go on to do fine, and have careers, and anyway the second place winners usually do better as proven in the past, right? But they both seemed like such genuine guys and I am happy for Cook too. His family deserves a break with his brother being so sick and all. Last nights show was amazing. I have always known AI to drag their shows out, especially results shows. Last night the show flew by. I wish it were a 4 hour show, and not 2. The star power they had there was awesome, and George Michael, holy moly man, what a powerful song, with a powerful message. I do not care how many men, in how many bathrooms he has approached, he brought down the house. He was my first crush, other than Bucky Dent, when I was a kid. You know, when he was in Wham, with ummmm, did that other guy even have a name. Anyway I have never gotten so into AI before, other than the auditions, and I am going to true not to do it again.

I would really love to go see the AI tour this summer, not quite as much as I would like to see the NKOTB tour, but all that remains to be seen. You know with the economy sucking and all. Gas prices, food prices, yada, yada. But I won't get started on all that.

New Beginings and Endings

How do you know you are a small town girl? When you are overly thrilled at the grand opening of a new food store in your town, that's how. We have our own ShopRite, doing the happy dance, the same one I did when I got out of the car at the brand new BJ's a couple towns away last weekend. Now please understand that when you have a 60,000+ square foot store that is all shiny and new coming to a town of 8,000 people on a good day, it IS exciting.

Yesterday we went to the grand opening party at ShopRite, because Carlos and about 20 other kids were singing there, and I was blown away. What a posh affair they had. There were people in uniforms walking around serving hor'dourves. The food spread they put out was what would be seen at a some really lavish affair, a chocolate fountain with strawberries so red and weighing at least a 1/4 pound each. Lamb chops with pesto dipping sauce, scallops wrapped in bacon, coconut shrimp, sushi. All sorts of desserts. A band, the kids singing. The decorations, so many red, white and blue flowers, like I said it was a posh affair. And YES I am excited! They officially opened to the public at 7am this morning, but I had a meeting this morning and some things to do at home today, plus therapy with Jewel so I will be food shopping there this evening. My kids think I have lost my mind, especially Amber. Amber has said to me no less than 20 times since yesterday, "It is just a ShopRite Mom, so what." Silly girl, so much to learn.

Now moving onto other important matters, American Idol. David Archuleta won the night in my eyes last night. I do love both Davids, but my heart belongs to little David. It belongs to little David so much so, that after AI, while watching Hell's Kitchen I voted for little David a few times. By a few I mean, oh say 100 or so. Now before you go thinking I am some sort of American Idol looney, please understand this is the first season ever I have become invested in this show, little David is the first contest ever that has stolen my heart for many reasons, and well it's not like I robbed my children of my time to vote or took off of work to vote, or lost sleep to vote. I voted while watching a show I usually watch at 9pm at night. Wow, I said a lot in defense of myself, babbling, a sure sign of loss of sanity, huh? I better quite down now. Peace!

Amber will move on

This morning was my meeting with Amber's teacher to discuss Amber's placement next year. I have been stressing over this. I was so worried they would suggest putting her in transitional 1st grade instead of first grade. I was worried she would be ostracized because of her size. She is already one of the biggest if not the biggest kids in her grade levels in the whole school, not just her class. Well, after an almost 45 minute meeting that was very detailed she will be moving ahead to regular 1st grade with her class and I am pleased with our decision. There are still a few areas that I am very concerned with, but they are not very academic in nature, and we are aware of them, and will be watching them very closely. I cannot tell you how realized I am.


Also just wanted to mention the season finale of House was last night and it was the most kick ass episode ever! House has feeling, Wilson's heart was broken, #13 has a disease, and everyone is forever changed. I cannot wait until next season. CANNOT WAIT!!!!!!!!!! Oh and they totally threw Obama an endorsement via a sticker on a bathroom wall stall. That rocks!

Honest opinions please!

Okay so I knew I looked older when I no longer got asked for ID when ordering a drink anymore, not that I drink a lot. =) But I don't think I look *that old. I do feel old though, way older than I actually am. But anywho this weekend my husband told me I look older than I am. I am bothered. Way more bothered than I let on. What the heck? First of all, even if I Iook the age he suggested doesn't he know that is one of those things you should never say to a woman, especially the one who cooks your food everyday! So please look at my picture in my side bar and leave me a comment, how old do I look to you? I promise to not to get offended. Well I promise to try to not get offended, hehe!

P.S. Don't look in my profile and cheat. Pretty Please! I want honest opinions, really!

Feelings and Mother's Day update

My husband does have feelings after all. Sometimes I swear although one of the sweetest persons I have ever met I doubt my husband has feeling or a sentimental bone in his body. Well yesterday proved me wrong. He calls me and says, my wedding ring is gone. Maybe I took it off in my sleep he says. I will take a look I tell him and I do in the bed, on the floor, under the bed, nothing. Even in his dirty pile of clothes alongside the bed. Nowhere. Now I was a little worried. Hmmmmm, where oh where could his ring be? I look in the living room, in the couch and there it was. I call him back and tell him and the sound of relief in his voice was so obvious, it surprised me to be honest.

I later asked him if he was relieved if I found his ring because it was expensive or if he thought I would be mad. (His wedding ring actually cost more than mine, I am sure because it is probably twice the amount of gold and because it is a two-tone gold blend in it.) His answer again surprised me, he said because it is my wedding ring and it means a lot to me. Whoa!!!!!!! Like I said he is not a sentimental man at all so this totally came out of left field. It was very sweet to hear though.

Mother's Day was nice. We hit the zoo on Saturday. I took a late afternoon nap while John was in the yard with the kids then he woke me up with flowers. Sunday we did some things around the house, I got a card from everyone with one of my favorite gifts of all, an iTunes gift card inside. I also got the usual and very special gifts from the kids that they make in school, got treat to lunch and also another nap.

Now the details on the gifts I bought for my mom and mother-in-law that I promised last week. There is a stained glass store in town. I never went in but am so glad I did. Their stuff is amazing. They can make anything you want. I got the mothers sun catchers. But this store makes windows, panes that are large that hang on big windows, they sell all the stuff to do your own stained glass, the panes, the torches, the patterns, solder. You name it they have it. It may well be a new addiction for me.

Decisions

I have been mulling over in my head whether or not I should go back to work in September as originally planned. This weekend I said something to John about it finally. He said as I thought he would, "it's up to you." So as it stands right now the choice is up to me go back to work in September 2008 or go back to work in September 2009. Realistically the choice is easy. I am not sure why I am having such a hard time making it though. I don't have to make it right away though so I won't. It is hard being a grown up sometimes.

Say a Prayer

Samuel has his angel wings and is free of a body that was filled with pain. That precious little boy held on for 4 years, no one can dispute the fact he was a fighter! If you have not been following Samuel's story here is his page. Samuel's Updates You will need a Kleenex. He was an amazing boy with amazing courage and faith. His mother and whole family are simply amazing, encouraging, and beautiful and I wish them peace. I am sure this is a tough time for the whole family and Mother's Day will be especially hard for Samuel's mama, if you could and are the praying type say a prayer for this family. If you are not the praying type, take something from this, hold you child a little closer, hug a little tighter, kiss them an extra kiss at night, give them that extra moment they are asking for. Be thankful. Be thankful in all things.

Rain Rain Go Away

So it is another rainy gloomy day, I have a headache that is making my head feel as if it will split into two any second and my asthma is kicking my behind, but hey at least I am not cranky today. Tomorrow is supposed to be nice though and we are headed to Cape May County Zoo with family. It should be really nice, and is free by the way, all they ask for is a donation. If you are ever in south Jersey I totally suggest it! I am most looking forward to the giraffes, which are my favorite animal. I am hoping they are close to the walkway this time, which they rarely are. I would love to get some good pictures.

Speaking of zoos, our house is becoming some sort of wildlife sanctuary. We have bird nests all over the place. In all the bushes surrounding the house, behind the shed, on the house on our gutter guards. And that squirrel I mentioned a few weeks ago is still hanging around to my dismay. I keep looking in our front tree looking for a nest but I still haven't spotted one. He spends an awful lot of time going up and down that tree though. Did I mention I hate squirrels? A lot! This sucker seems to know it to and I feel he mocks me and whips past my feet as I walk out the front door at least once a day. I thought a few days in, maybe he will grow on me, I have now decided, he will not.

After picking Jewel up this afternoon I went Mother's Day shopping for my mother and mother-in-law. I patronized a local store that I look through the window of a lot but have never ventured into. Going in was a mixed blessing I think. It is an awesome store, I see myself going back too often, but at the same time, I see myself over spending there as well. I can't go into too much details or I will give it away. More details after Sunday though, I promise. Tonight we are headed back out to buy part two of the presents and I am also going to buy some bottled water. For what? Sea-Monkeys. I did the whole sea monkey thing as a kid and thought I would afford my kids the same experience. I am going to do some research first though so they won't be disappointed like I was.

Well I need to get off my duff so the girls can get on Webkinz, and I can find some dinner and start straightening up the house because everyone is meeting here tomorrow on the way to the zoo. I may not be back this weekend to blog, with any luck I will have a fun filled weekend. If I am not back, I want to say, HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!!!!!!

Haircut

For a child who has serious sensory issues, one of them regarding her hair she did wonderful! She has been talking about getting her hair cut shorter for a couple weeks now and starting in about it again when she got home from school today but then said no when I suggested we go when Amber got off the bus. We started talking about it again during dinner and she decided when we were done eating she would go. The first one is obviously the before shot and the second one is the after shot. It still looks a little funny because it is still a little wet and she insisted I take the picture outside where it is a little on the windy side tonight. She absolutely loves it!

Oh the mood

Today is the first day in about a week that I have not walked, due to the weather. Now I am not sure if how I feel can be attributed to not walking or is a coincidence, but I am moody, short tempered, and just feeling like crap in general. Wow, there may be something to this exercise thing after all. I have not changed my eating habits at all unfortunately, and still I have lost 4 pounds this week so far. Awesome! Well like I said I am moody and have little else to say and a mound of laundry to do because Jewel peed in Carlos' bed last night, hehe, so this will be all.

Just stuff

Yeah I totally suck. I flaked. I did not start my organizational ways like I said I would. I did print my chore list though so I had good intentions. Yesterday was a day of a whole lot of nothing. Well not entirely, I walked. Which was awesome, I read, and I ummmm ::::cough cough::: took a little nap. Then after dinner we walked again this time as a family and we also went to the park. So sort of uneventful. I did walk a total of about 4 miles though.

Today after getting the kids off to school I went and picked up my sister like planned and we walked. Then we hung out back here, oh the horror. She saw my house at it's messiest, now she and my mother are probably gossiping about it and me, oh no. (((Shout out to Kelly and Mom!!!))) And then…….we went thrift store shopping and out to lunch and more thrift store shopping and wouldn't you know it here I am now, wasting more time. I did start the dishwasher though and as soon as I get Amber off the bus I am going to get cracking on the kitchen because I plan on making calzones for dinner tonight. I had a good time though, me and my sister don't really hang out and have "sister time" all that often.

So anyway. Tomorrow's the day. This time I mean it. No really I do, stop laughing. I am going to head into the office first thing in the morning to tie up some loose ends and then I am coming straight home to whip this house into shape, or at least start. A wise woman once told me I would spend less time napping if I was more organized because I wouldn't mind staying awake if I were seeing a clean house. She seems to think I sleep to avoid the mess. So we'll see. I also had some words for this wise woman, I am on the hunt for you and YOU know what I mean. Never say never. =)

Oh and I lost 2 pounds this week already. Yay me! Now a little over 50 to go! I need to stay motivated!

Organizing laziness

Today I am determined to set some sort of system into place. This home is chaos. Schedules are crazy especially with baseball right now; they are going to get worse as soon as more therapy starts, and well everything suffers. We eat out too often, the house is never clean enough, things are just in a major state of disorganization, and well my laziness does not help at all. Most days I have no ambition to do a single thing. The kids have a little over a month left of school and I am really trying to take advantage of my time alone by, sleeping, of course. Big eyeroll at me!


I used to use a chore list. It broke down what needed to be done every week onto a daily basis and it worked great. But like most things I didn't stick with it. That's a little problem I have, I have trouble sticking with things. But I think I am going to go back to my chore list. I actually should still have the list saved in Microsoft Word. But something has to be down. I have even broke Mr. Perfection John who said he is now used to the state of things. UGH! That's not good to hear. I want to be more organized, I swear I do, I just, well I really have no excuse, so it starts today!

My name is Holly

I do not like being called anything outside of my name. Well not entirely true. I love my Mommy title and I get annoyed if my husband calls me anything other than Honey. You see my husband always calls me Honey so if he calls me anything other than Honey it bothers me. Yes even if he calls me Holly it bothers me. Do not even get me started on Freckles. He thinks it is such a cute nickname, for me it brings back terrible childhood memories.


But I do not like people calling me anything other than Holly. I do not like Miss, Ma'am, Mrs. S****. I especially hate Hol! People tend to call me Hol often and I hate it. I would not dream of shortening someone's name. Especially someone I do not know, or someone I do not know well. I hate Hol. I can tolerate it though when someone I know calls me it. I cringe when someone I do not know well call me it. Silly, huh? Bigger things to worry about? Sure. But it's one of those things. It bothers me the same way that chalkboards bother me, the same way hearing people eat bothers me. It's just one of those things. So hey, here's a heads up, if we ever have the pleasure of meeting, please call me Holly. Thank you! =)

New Jersey

I am really tired of the bad rap that New Jersey gets. We are the joke of the nation. Okay so it's well deserved in some areas like politics and corruption. Our taxes are outrageous, car insurance is insane. But we are not that bad. Our land is beautiful. We do not deserve all the jokes, we are not the armpit of the nation, we do not all talk the same, we do not all have family members in the mob, we do not all have chemicals buried in our back yards, the whole state does not smell like rotten eggs.

The truth is our state is such a diverse land. How many states have forests, seashores, fields and bogs of veggies and fruits, historical battlefields, mountains, rivers, pinelands, historical lighthouses. We have all of that. Sometimes in the same county, or even the same town. I can drive from one side of my town to the other and go from bayside to countryside, literally. My town smells of nothing but salty air, no chemicals, no rotten egg smell, we do not talk like the Nanny or Tony Soprano, and no, we are not from New Jesoooiy. When it comes time to get a Christmas tree, we go 5 minutes from our home and cut down a pine tree on a tree farm. A Christmas tree farm 10 minutes from the bay. Who would have thought that? We have wildlife, tons of it. We are called the Garden State for a reason.

I can travel less than 30 minutes in any directions from my home and be in the mountains, go picking fruits and veggies, be at the shore, be at an amusement park, climb the stairs of a lighthouse, go fishing in the ocean, the list goes on and on. Yes we have industry here, in parts of our state not our WHOLE state. Our state doesn't smell, our state isn't a garbage dump, we all aren't the same in the way we talk and dress, and no our hair is not a mile high (although maybe in the 90's it was). I am from New Jersey, and proud of it!