For the first time I feel like Jewel is finally making some real progress with her speech. Other people are starting to understand her a bit more, well people she sees with some frequency anyway. We are at a point where we have to correct some of her grammar which is simply amazing because that means we are understanding her. We notice she is starting to use certain words in improper places. This stuff might worry some parents but for us, it is a God send. Amazing stuff. I mean we have a 4 year old who usually speaks unintelligibly. She has been in speech therapy since she was 22 months old, we have been told by doctors and therapists she has one of the most severe cases of true
apraxia they have ever worked with, we are prepared for her to continue with speech for years, yes years, to come. So believe me understanding her improper usage of words and incorrect grammar is wonderful! Is she speaking anywhere near where she should be? Oh no not at all, but this is true progress. Spontaneous words are popping out of her little mouth here and there with such clarity that our jaws drop. Looking at each other every time saying did you hear that? Spontaneous words that she doesn't use frequently are her strong point. I know initially it doesn't make sense but trust me to us it makes perfect sense. She hasn't been using those words incorrectly for the last few years so therefore they are not ingrained wrong into her brain.
Jewel continues to be such a trooper, she is an inspiration to me she really is. She may seem at first like an impatient kid but when you put into the equation that she is a 4 year old with lots of things on her mind and she must fight for others to understand even the simplest things you too would start to understand why she is so amazing. She has patience, lots of it, I wish I had even a fraction of her patience. She lives a frustrating life, essentially living in a world where she speaks her own language and tries to make everyone else understand it. I would do anything to take that away from her, the burden of it is unimaginable. So while others may look at her and see a tough kid to deal with, a challenge, spoiled even, I see an amazing little girl who has risen to the challenge that faces her and I am in awe.
This morning I looked at Jewel while we were waiting outside to get on the bus and felt such a bittersweet feeling. This is my baby or should I say this was my baby. This morning she picked out her own clothes, did her hair all by herself and was genuinely excited about going to school to see her friends. When did she grow up so much? When did she stop depending on me for absolutely everything? It truly seems like yesterday that I had my 8 pound 2 ounce preemie 5 weeks early and they whisked her away from me, and I stood by her isolette and was afraid of touching her, becoming attached to her, losing her and John had to tell me to touch my own baby. This morning I looked at her and saw a beautiful little girl yet such a little warrior that battles apraxia every moment of her speaking life.
