Another eval for Jewel

Tomorrow I have to take Jewel to Children's Specialized main campus about an hour and a half from home to evaluated for an augmentative communication device. (This device is a portable computer like device that will speak for her, think of a talking PECS book.) We have been looking forward to this evaluation for many, many months, even though I am on the fence about the whole thing. Will she use it? Will it benefit her? Will it stunt her desire to verbalize? Who will be paying for it, insurance, school, an organization? (This device depending on the type they say would be best for her can cost thousands of dollars.) Will it be worth all the training that must go into it? Would that time be better spent doing even more speech therapy? So many questions, so few answers. I should be used to it being that way because since birth things have always been so unknown with Jewel.

Jewel has absolutely made tons of progress since the start of summer. Does that mean she is up to par. NO! Her speech is still very unintelligible especially to people who are not familiar with her. Even those familiar with her (including us) have trouble understanding her at time. At first glance Jewel may seem like a very impatient child, but in reality if you think about the obstacles that she faces daily with communicating and the frustration that she encounters, you will understand she is one of the most patient, level headed people you have ever met, adult or child. Yes we get frustrated not understanding what she is saying at times, it's then we have to stop and put ourselves in HER shoes. Imagine her agony. The words are right there in her head and her mouth does not cooperate to make them come out so people understand.

Most parents like to brag how smart their children are. If you know me, you know I tell it like it is about my kids. They each have their own strengths and weaknesses, and I do not mask any of that. Jewel though is an amazingly bright child though. Above average in all areas except speech. Her writing and drawing skills are unreal and have been since she was old enough to grasp a pencil. The things she is capable of are really unknown since we do not get a true picture of it, due to her lack of verbal skills.

Anyway, tomorrow we are headed to the evaluation, just Jewel and I unfortunately due to work schedules. I am praying for the weather to be warm enough to not be icy and clear. I would appreciate if you could do the same, missing this appointment is not an option.

Christmas

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas and the New Year brings everyone lots of happiness, health, and good fortune, I think we all need that. We had a great Christmas. The wonder of seeing the kids see all the gifts under the tree and wonder what in the world they did to deserve that all (they didn't, lol), spending time with family without being rushed or hurried as usual, reminiscing of the Christmases past. I think back to childhood and remember the toys I played with as a kid and how toys have evolved. Then there are toys that have withstood the test of time and my kids play with very similar if not the same versions now 20, 25, 30 years later. Wow I am old enough to say 30 years later, makes me SAD! In any case I spent this morning looking through a toy site of the 80's. So many things were familiar and brought back such great memories. There are a few toys that I can't seem to find anywhere and do not even recall the name of though, I guess those senior moments happen in your 30's too. Anyway here is a list of some toys and games that I remember as a kid.
Alphie
Dolly Pops
Don't Tip the Waiter
Pound Puppies
Skip It (I still see these from time to time)
Etch-A-Sketch (timeless)
Snap bracelets (now against the law in many states)
Cabbage Patch Dolls (My 1st was a preemie names Stacey Liza and my 2nd was a Yankee played named Freddie Foster)
Trouble (timeless, my kids love it)
My Dog Has Fleas
Glo-Worm (I bought one this year for someone)
Whoopsie (she was one of my favorite dolls)
Baby Skates (another favorite doll)
Pogo Ball
Lite Brite (my daughter got one this year, a little different then the original)
Hi Ho Cherry-Oh (a favorite game here)
Knickerbocker Annie figurines and vehicles
Viewmaster (timeless)
Simon (they still sell this too)
Easy Bake Oven (I LOVED this)
I also had a penguin who was used at bath time. He suction cupped onto the side of the tub and his hat came off to reveal a hollow body. You used his hat to pour water into his head which drained down through his body making his wings flap. I loved this toy, it was a bath time favorite and I cannot remember his name although I picture his vividly, he was navy blue and his hat was orange or yellow. He had a beak that may have even moved too. Anyone remember what his name was? What were your favorite toys?

Chicken or Tuna? Buffalo!

We all remember Jessica Simpson's famous moment of not knowing if Chicken of The Sea was tuna or chicken, right? Well my darling little Carlos had a Jessica moment tonight at Applebee's. See Carlos has got to be one of the pickiest eaters you ever will encounter so I was sort of surprised when he asked for an appetizer of boneless buffalo wings. While eating them the conversation went something to this:

Carlos: So what are these chicken wings made of?
Us: What??? (imagine our puzzled looks)
Carlos: Well are they buffalo or chicken?
Us: Huh? (starting to seriously think he couldn't have gotten on honor roll on his own right?)
Carlos: Well they are buffalo.
Me: Actually they are mostly unicorn.
Carlos: Why do they call them buffalo.
Me: Hamburgers come from a ham.

Do buffalo's have wings? Did he really think he wasn't eating chicken but buffalo. He claims he knew all along it was *really chicken, he just didn't know why they were called buffalo. Yes Carlos and ditzy Jessica knew she was eating tuna not chicken.

Public Service Announcement

Attention, attention please. I just want to let everyone know that despite what I used to think there is such a thing as trimming your eyebrows too much. For those of you who know what I am talking about it doesn't look THAT bad, lol. =)

Here I Am!

I am HERE!!!! Well I haven't been blogging but I am around. I am on some new meds and trying to adjust to them, but it doesn't seem to be happening. I am mostly fine, besides the fact I have been a lazier slug than normal. I do go for a cardiologist appointment next week that I am looking forward to but also dreading. It is a follow up for when I had chest pains a few weeks ago. I want to make sure everything is okay, but I have a nagging feeling something is not quite right. In any case we are all excited for Christmas of course. Santa is almost finished shopping. Thank goodness because his credit cards are mighty tired. =) Last night Santa Claus came by on the fire truck and handed out candy canes like usual. He was a bit late so I did not let the kids have their candy canes last night. This morning Jewel, who isn't feeling so great and has to stay home today, woke up, had some breakfast and asked could she have her candy cane. I gave it to her and about 5 minutes later she comes running in and hands it to me and says, "Mama me forgot I no like candy canes." I started laughing so hard and she got mad at me and covered my mouth. I guess the excitement of Santa's candy cane was so much she thought she would actually like it this year. It was pretty funny. I am going to try to do better and blog more often, but I am not making any promises.

The BIG 3-0!!!!

Today my best friend in the whole world, my husband John, turns 30! I am so happy because I can rag on him for being old now like he's been doing to me forever. This is the eighth birthday he is having that we are celebrating together and I feel like the time have literally flown by. We decided not to do anything big for each other for our birthdays and Christmas which all fall within a month of each other so I bought him a few little things from the kids and I.

A remote control center since he can never find the remotes, hopefully they will always find their way back into their new home now. Why do men need like 5 freaking remotes anyway? A new pair of sweats since he prefers them to PJ's. A Buddha statue that is jade in color and he is holding pearls of wisdom above his head. John has wanted a Buddha forever. And....he is so going to kill me for this since he is trying to stay away from "junk".......chocolate covered almonds and cashews.

I was hoping he would be walking in the door any minute from work, yes he worked today, he never takes *his day off. But............he got an emergency service call at 4 o'clock. What in the world???? Why do emergencies always happen when he is suppose to be leaving to come home? And why is he the only electrician in the company (other than the other half of the A Team, Carl) who knows jack shit about electrical work. How did these asshats run a company before he got there, do they even own tools? They don't know how to bid jobs, they don't know how to do calculations and end up redoing half their work because they did it in the wrong size wire or whatever, and :::::drum roll::::::: they don't know how to do actual electrical work. All I can compare it to is me opening a valet service and not having a driver's license or even knowing how to drive a stinking car. Here's your sign!!!

OK this was suppose to be a Happy Birthday blog not a complain about dip shits blog, so I will end it all with an endearing John, my Big Rig, I love you more than fuzzy bunnies and I always will. Happy birthday and many many more to the best husband and father in the whole wide world!!! XOXOXO

Birthday Wrap Up!

How do you make a 13 year old boy happy? Give him a *real cell phone. Carlos has had a cell phone for a few years now, but it was a Migo. A "long range walkie talkie" according to him. Only 5 numbers could be called from it, and no one could call him. All my friends have cell phones. After hearing this for the last 2 years or so we decided this year he would graduate from the walkie talkie to a *real cell phone, and he literally spent all weekend on it. He texted, he took pictures, he texted some more, he played video games on speaker phone with friends in his room. Finally last night I told him turn the ringer down or off because I was ready to toss the thing out the window after a whooping 2 days. In any case his birthday was a hit despite the fact we celebrated it on Saturday instead of Friday because Friday was just too jam packed with things to do. He was woken up Saturday morning to a Happy Birthday ringtone on his new phone. Silly boy thught it was his alarm clock and tried turning it off, I should have had the video ready. Then for lunch his friend, my sister, 2 nieces, and all of us went to Applebee's. So all in all he was very pleased with his big ONE THREE!

FREE Dr. Pepper

Although I hate Dr. Pepper I love me some free. So enjoy.

HOW TO GET YOUR FREE DR PEPPER

1. On the Nov. 23, 2008 release date, go to www.drpepper.com

2. Register your information to receive a coupon for one free 20-oz. Dr Pepper.

3. When your coupon arrives, redeem it wherever Dr Pepper is sold.

4. Drink your Dr Pepper slowly to experience all 23 flavors. Dr's orders.
Coupons will be available for 24 hours, starting at 12:01 a.m. Eastern Time on Nov. 23, 2008. Allow 4-6 weeks for coupon to arrive. Coupons will expire on Feb. 28, 2009. Limit one coupon per person. Full terms and conditions available at www.drpepper.com

If you are curious why they are offering free soda it has something to do with Guns R Roses and you can find out all the info here: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23830713/

13, what, what?!?!?!

Thirteen years ago today I had my first child. My only son. He has grown to be a good kid. He has his moments, who doesn't, especially a 13 year old boy. He made honor roll this marking period, he ran cross country for the first time this year and did pretty darn good for never having ran before, he has his first wrestling match coming up, he has found a recent passion for reading. My little Manny is a teenager. Wow.

Night in the ER

It takes a lot to get me to a doctor. It takes a whole lot more to get me to a hospital. So you can only imagine what it took to get me to wake up my husband last night after he worked all day, to take me to the emergency room. I woke up about 1am with chest and back pains. At first they were sort of dull and achy I couldn't even really tell what hurt or where. I took Gas X thinking it was gas, I stayed sitting up for a while, nothing helped, it got worse, I even vomited.

Finally after an hour and probably far too much debating I woke John up and he took me to the ER. They triage me and my blood pressure was 165/120. They took me back right away of course, I get all hooked up to oxygen, IV port put in, EKG, heart monitor leads, pulse/ox machine. Uh. I get baby aspirin and nitro. At that point I am really freaking out. Am I having a heart attack? I mean of course that was on my mind, that is why I came in. I get a chest x-rays, Lopressor to bring down my blood pressure because it was just staying way up there, fluids through IV, all kinds of blood tests, one called a D-dimer to check for clots and then the usual ones to check my enzymes.

Thankfully everything was normal, and after 3 hours the pain was gone. They aren't really sure what caused it at all or why my blood pressure was so high. They are thinking my chest wall was spasming for some unexplained reason, real reassuring, and it stressed me causing my blood pressure to rise. The scariest part is all this happened while I was sleeping. So anyway we finally got home like 6am this morning. Of course John heads right to work, poor guy that is exactly why I debated about even going, I knew he would sit there with me and then go to work and work all day. I am so exhausted, but feel a lot better. Now I have to force myself to call my doctor for a follow up. Did I mention I hate doctors?

Birthing

My niece Tiana spent the night a couple weeks ago and the girls love their pretend play. What little girl doesn't? Here is Amber giving birth while Tiana and Jewel are helping her out. What adorable little mama's.

Michael J Fox

I planned on napping this morning until I saw Michael J Fox was going to be on Rachel Ray. I do not ordinarily watch Rachel Ray. I used to. But these days I usually flip on the TV about 11 to catch The View's hot topics because who can turn away from a train wreck and that's about all I watch of daytime TV. I listen to a lot of music these days. Okay so anywho I am straying. Back to MJF. You do not see him too much since he semi-retired in 2000. Honestly before seeing MJF suffer from Parkinson's I never heard of such a young person having the disease. I work with the elderly and it seemed nearly every senior I worked with had it and I never gave it a second thought, ok they shook a bit, it made things a bit difficult. But seeing MJF pout it all in a completely different light.
So on Rachel Ray there were some tears around her kitchen table this morning, the main topic was Team Fox running the NYC marathon raising money for awareness for the disease and what not. There were lots of laughs, MJF is such a funny guy, when RR asked him what his advice on marriage was his answer was this: If a man says something in a forest and his wife doesn't hear him he is still wrong. MJF was one of my first crushes when I was a kid, well besides Bucky Dent. Back To the Future, Teen Wolf, Family Ties. MJF was da bomb! To see him like this is heartbreaking. Yet inspiring. He and his wife have been married a long time and we all know in Hollywood that is next to impossible add to that the fact they have faced things that normal couples have difficulties with. I miss MJF and really wish we would see him more often.

Love/Hate

Things that bother me:

Old people who think they are entitled to things just because they have lived longer than you.
People who hold job positions simply to try to boss other around, despite the fact they cannot.
Idiots who let their kids run the amok.
When people make an unnecessary amount of noise when eating.
Body odor, enough said!
The way our government is run.
How wasteful some people are.

Things that I enjoy:

Watching how carefree most children are.
Reading in total silence and getting absolutely lost in the book.
Spending time with the people I love.
Rummaging through thrift stores and finding total bargains.
Making someone see something a little differently than they did before.
Snuggling up with someone when it is cold outside.
A person helping a stranger because it's the nice thing to do and not because they were asked.
Taking a nap, anytime, anywhere, for any reason.

History's Been Made!

Consider This

From a Larry King blog.Enjoy!Obama '08!!What If... What if Obama had paraded five children across the stage, including a three month old infant and an unwed, pregnant teenage daughter? What if John McCain was a former president of the Harvard Law Review? What if Barack Obama finished fifth from the bottom of his graduating class? What if McCain had only married once, and Obama was a divorcee? What if Obama was the candidate who left his first wife after a severe disfiguring car accident, when she no longer measured up to his standards? What if Obama had met his second wife in a bar and had a long affair while he was still married? What if Michelle Obama was the wife who not only became addicted to pain killers but also acquired them illegally through her charitable organization? What if Cindy McCain graduated from Harvard Law School? What if Obama had been a member of the Keating Five?(The Keating Five were five United States Senators accused of corruption in 1989, igniting a major political scandal as part of the larger Savings and Loan crisis of the late 1980s and early 1990s.) What if McCain was a charismatic, eloquent speaker? What if Obama couldn't read from a teleprompter? What if Obama was the one who had military experience that included discipline problems and a record of crashing ....planes? (Zorn Note -- FactCheck. org clarifies
the McCain piloting stories/rumors here and the bottom line is, "McCain did lose two Navy aircraft while piloting them. One crash was found to be be McCain's fault, the other due to an engine failure of undetermined cause. What if Obama was the one who was known to display publicly, on many occasions, a serious anger management problem? What if Michelle Obama's family had made their money from beer distribution? You could easily add to this list.If these questions reflected reality, do you really believe the election numbers would be as close as they are?

This is what racism does. It covers up, rationalizes and minimizes positive qualities in one candidate and emphasizes negative qualities in another when there is a color difference. And consider the following: Educational Background:Barack Obama:Columbia University - B.A.Political Science w/ Specialization in Int'l RelationsHarvard - Juris Doctor (J.D.) Magna Cum Laude Joseph Biden:University of Delaware - B.A. in History and B.A.in Political ScienceSyracuse University College of Law - Juris Doctor (J.D.)vs. John McCain:United States Naval Academy - Class rank: 894 of 899 Sarah Palin:Hawaii Pacific University - 1 semesterNorth Idaho College - 2 semesters - general studyUniversity of Idaho - 2 semesters - journalism

Me, me and more of me!

So occasionally the part of me that totally loves myself likes to blog about my favorite topic. Me! LOL. No really. Sometimes people read my blog that don't know me or know little about me. So from time to time I like to do a this and that type of blog about me to highlight some little details about me that some of you may know and some of you may not. I encourage those who read my blog (hint, hint KELLY) to do the same.

I have lived my entire life in New Jersey and though I desperately want to try living somewhere else I probably never will. My roots are kind of firmly planted.

I am fairly certain at least two of my exes are gay. At times I have wondered if this had anything to do with me or was just a coincidence. Hmmmmm. I don't wonder this much anymore though. I think people are just who they are.

Although I hate a lot of things that have happened in my past I wouldn't change any of it. I think everything happens for a reason and I think altering the past changes the future and could lead to different things. So as much as I hate some of what has happened and some decisions I have made, I have made a sort of peace with it all.

I count things. I guess you can say it is an OCD sort of thing. If I am waiting for something I decide what number said thing will happen at and I start counting. If it doesn't happen at that number I start the process again. It is weird. Don't know why I do it, can't explain it any better than I have, don't know when I started doing it, because I always remember doing it, I actually do not remember a time I didn't do it, it just is what it is. To me it is as normal as say going to the bathroom.

I hate boogies in noses, and I hate ear wax in ears. I like noses and ears to be clean. I don't like seeing anything in them, on them, near them. My kids think I am weird, I annoy the heck out of them because of this, but they have clean ears and noses.

I believe in everything happening for a reason. When I was working in the healthcare field there was one type of patient that I disliked working with. An aphasic patient. Doing home health I requested to not have any aphasic patients, I could not tolerate it. But in the nursing homes and hospitals I had to deal with it. It frustrated me, and it frustrated them. I tried my hardest, but I am sure they sensed my frustration. I think God gave me a child with a similar problem as a lesson in patience. A lesson I surely needed, but I feel it is at the cost of Jewel's voice and I often feel very guilty about that.

Darkness not only scares me, in the sense of boogie man fears, but it affects my sense of balance.

I cannot wait for my husband to go gray and get older. I find myself oddly attracted to older men, especially ones with gray hair. I do think my husband is a hottie now don't get me wrong. But I can only imagine what the coming years will turn him into.

Hmmmmm, can't think of anything else you guys haven't heard already. Now I want to see what everyone else has to tell us about themselves. KELLY this means you. I folded some laundry so I deserve to read a blog by you, what's it been 4 months?!?!?!

The Real McCain?

At Fort McNair, an army base located along the Potomac River in the nation's capital, a chance reunion takes place one day between two former POWs. It's the spring of 1974, and Navy commander John Sidney McCain III has returned home from the experience in Hanoi that, according to legend, transformed him from a callow and reckless youth into a serious man of patriotism and purpose. Walking along the grounds at Fort McNair, McCain runs into John Dramesi, an Air Force lieutenant colonel who was also imprisoned and tortured in Vietnam.
McCain is studying at the National War College, a prestigious graduate program he had to pull strings with the Secretary of the Navy to get into. Dramesi is enrolled, on his own merit, at the Industrial College of the Armed Forces in the building next door.
There's a distance between the two men that belies their shared experience in North Vietnam — call it an honor gap. Like many American POWs, McCain broke down under torture and offered a "confession" to his North Vietnamese captors. Dramesi, in contrast, attempted two daring escapes. For the second he was brutalized for a month with daily torture sessions that nearly killed him. His partner in the escape, Lt. Col. Ed Atterberry, didn't survive the mistreatment. But Dramesi never said a disloyal word, and for his heroism was awarded two Air Force Crosses, one of the service's highest distinctions. McCain would later hail him as "one of the toughest guys I've ever met."
On the grounds between the two brick colleges, the chitchat between the scion of four-star admirals and the son of a prizefighter turns to their academic travels; both colleges sponsor a trip abroad for young officers to network with military and political leaders in a distant corner of the globe.
"I'm going to the Middle East," Dramesi says. "Turkey, Kuwait, Lebanon, Iran."
"Why are you going to the Middle East?" McCain asks, dismissively.
"It's a place we're probably going to have some problems," Dramesi says.
"Why? Where are you going to, John?"
"Oh, I'm going to Rio."
"What the hell are you going to Rio for?"
McCain, a married father of three, shrugs.
"I got a better chance of getting laid."
Dramesi, who went on to serve as chief war planner for U.S. Air Forces in Europe and commander of a wing of the Strategic Air Command, was not surprised. "McCain says his life changed while he was in Vietnam, and he is now a different man," Dramesi says today. "But he's still the undisciplined, spoiled brat that he was when he went in."
McCAIN FIRST
This is the story of the real John McCain, the one who has been hiding in plain sight. It is the story of a man who has consistently put his own advancement above all else, a man willing to say and do anything to achieve his ultimate ambition: to become commander in chief, ascending to the one position that would finally enable him to outrank his four-star father and grandfather.
In its broad strokes, McCain's life story is oddly similar to that of the current occupant of the White House. John Sidney McCain III and George Walker Bush both represent the third generation of American dynasties. Both were born into positions of privilege against which they rebelled into mediocrity. Both developed an uncanny social intelligence that allowed them to skate by with a minimum of mental exertion. Both struggled with booze and loutish behavior. At each step, with the aid of their fathers' powerful friends, both failed upward. And both shed their skins as Episcopalian members of the Washington elite to build political careers as self-styled, ranch-inhabiting Westerners who pray to Jesus in their wives' evangelical churches.
In one vital respect, however, the comparison is deeply unfair to the current president: George W. Bush was a much better pilot.


Want to read the rest???? Check it out here.....it is interesting....

http://www.rollingstone.com/news/coverstory/make_believe_maverick_the_real_john_mccain/page/1

Sesame Place

Today we went to Sesame Place. Variety Club had their Halloween Spooktacular. We all had a lot of fun. Jewel especially, which is the way it should be. Days like today when Jewel is around her peers who also have some sort of developmental disabilities are so important for her. It makes her see that she is not the only one who is different. That kids are not all the same, that kids come in all shapes, sizes, that some walk different, some talk different, some hear different, etc. She had a really fun day. All three kids actually got along really well all day long which is a huge shocker, even for the car ride, both ways. Jewel got her face painted, Carlos and Amber climbed up the cargo nets, the kids all did the trick or treat scavenger hunt. The weather was perfect, the kids were perfect, just a perfect day, I could not have asked for anything better.

Finally an Update

So I bought instant pudding today made pudding pie, the right way. See Jewel's messy little face? The girls loved it. They so far are the only one's who ate it. Because Carlos is not home, John is working, and I am ready for this, sit down, not hungry! My meds are working for me again, praise God!

I have been a total blog drop out so I figure I should do an update on us and everything here.

Carlos is done with cross country. He finished the countys 40th out of 98 boys, which I find impressive since this was his first year running ever. He ran the 1.5 mile in 10:45, which was not even his best time all year but still great! He starts wrestling in a couple weeks. Middle school is agreeing with him. His grades are up, his moral is up, school pride is high, he is in shape (not like he wasn't before, just in better shape), and he just seems to be doing well overall.

Amber is adjusting to 1st grade well. She is excelling in math, and finding herself weak in reading and language arts. Thankfully they are putting her in basic skills. We are hoping by January this helps, if not we will be looking at other ways to intervene. I am going to have to seriously consider home schooling her though should things not turn around after all options are exhausted though. She is the type of child who need serious one on one, no distraction type of instruction. We shall see what the next few months brings us. We are also working on her other issues, that seems to be going well so far. We have her understanding there are issues there, but have to get her to believe she wants to overcome these things before we can start really battling them. In her mind she likes things the way they are. I guess accepting the way things are seems a better alternative to fighting to change them, she knows it will be hard.

Jewel's speech is exploding. That said compared to her peers she is still so far behind and she is still unintelligible a large portion of the time to people who are unfamiliar with her. Her social skills are blooming though and we really could not be more proud about that! The girls had their Halloween party last night and Jewel partied! This girl really danced the night away. She interacted with other kids, kept up with her peers (even older ones), and really just enjoyed herself. We are really just happy her delays are not "delaying" her. She got her medi-alert bracelet last week and is absolutely over the moon about it, it really is very pretty.

John & I are well..... John & I. He works, I stay home, things are the same. The economy sucks, things look so so grim, the whole political situation is depressing. Who knows what the future holds. Things are a-okay here for now though. I totally planned on going back to real estate in Sept of next year when Jewels started kindergarten, but I am not even sure with all the forecasts I am hearing that would be wise. I am thinking of getting a regular 9-5 then for a year or so where I will be guaranteed a paycheck from week to week. I hear all sorts of things like they don't expect the housing market to make a comeback for 2 years, others say 5 years, who knows. I guess I will wait until the time gets closer. I hate the unknown. Career wise, lots of things are sitting on the edge right now, not just for me. Such is life though.

I messed up

The other day I was feeling fairly domestic and decided to not only get an early start on dinner but to made a dessert too. What to make, what to make? Lemon bars? Mmmmm. All the kids don't like that though. Chocolate death in the crock? Too late to start it. Chocolate pudding pie? Simple, fast, and everyone likes it, right? OK so I look at the pudding directions, 4 hours to set, hmmmmm, should have time. 4 hours later the pudding was still watery. Very watery. What the heck? Did I mention I have only made instant pudding in the past and this pudding I actually cooked on the stove top, but I followed the directions. So here we are 2 days later. And you can still literally pour this pudding it is that watery. What went wrong? I'll tell you. I didn't buy instant, that was my mistake. I usually never goof up desserts. Dinners I have occasionally, ok on a rare occasion goofed, but never desserts. I usually make good desserts. I am sad. And I want chocolate pudding pie too.

Not the Same Thing!

UGH. During last night's debate he mentioned over and over no one knows autism like Sarah Palin. Hello McFly her son has Downs Syndrome, not autism. They are not freaking interchangeable. Every time he said it I cringed. Why no one called him out on the fact he made such an error and sat there looking like he knew very little about Palin shocked me.

On the same subject, it disgusts me that the McCain-Palin campaign are really playing up the whole we are "pro" special needs children. Bull! Are most people aware before Trig, Palin's son who has Downs, was born she cut funding for special needs in her state by up to 50%? They are not for special needs children at all, Governor Palin happens to have a special needs child, who by the way is what 5 months old and sees his mother how much?

McCain also commented last night that Palin is a role model for all women. Cements my belief he only choose her because she is a woman and he is looking for that female vote. To him there is no difference between Clinton and Palin and he forged ahead with her thinking he would capture all of Clinton's votes simply because both politicians have a vagina. WRONGO!!!!! Give women a little credit Senator McCain. By the way Palin is far from my role model.

Last Supper

I am back!!!!! Well not really. My desktop has been in the shop and I had typing on my laptop with a passion. Sooooo I have been neglecting my blog. Not only that, there's nothing new at all, and I just haven't been in the mood. But yesterday I read a story that caught my attention. Ohio executed an overweight man who was appealing his death sentence saying that due to his weight it would be inhumane. This man was 5'7 and 267 pounds, so yeah he was overweight. His claim was that they would not be able to find a viable vein to inject him and he also wanted a single drug rather than the three drug combo. In any case I don't really find his appeal shocking, I don't find what he claimed shocking, especially since Ohio has a history of botched executions.

What I did find totally appalling was this guy's last meal. Now before I go into what his meal was, let me just say I would be commenting on his meal whether he was 5'7 and 100 pounds or what he actually was. I seriously could not care less about his weight at all. The night before he died he ordered a special meal which included T-bone steak with A-1 sauce, onion rings, french fries, four eggs over easy, toast with butter, hash browns, a pint of rocky road ice cream, a Mountain Dew soft drink and bear claw pastries. Yeah I get this was his last meal ever on Earth but seriously did the two girls he murdered get the chance to say good bye to loved ones before they died, to make peace with whomever they had to, to live beyond a mere 20 years old. No, he murdered them and most likely gave it no second thought whatever. But this guy at least knew he was going to meet his maker, had time to say his goodbyes, and what not. I do not think he should have dined on anything but normal prison food before he died. e have homeless people in the country eating out of garbage cans to survive, families eating Ramen noodles nightly so they can pay their rent, people choosing between eating or paying for medications they need. What is done to help those people eat a decent meal? Very little. But this bastard is rewarded for murdering two people with a meal fit for a king. What a crock of shit.

I don't think death row inmates should be treated badly. I actually do not even believe in a death sentence at all. But to give someone something out of the ordinary is outrageous just because they are set to die. This country is so ass backwards it is sad. Liberty and justice for all my ass. I am uber annoyed at the state of our country right now and reading a story like this, seeing how our tax money is spent in ridiculous ways, just pisses me off even more.

::::sigh::::

I am so discouraged with the politics right now I didn't even watch the debate last night. Sad, huh? I was so excited for the first debate, maybe even more excited for the veep debate last week, but this one I don't know. I feel the question dodging, the mudslinging, just the regular political bullshit is really doing a disservice to us as a country. I know it is nothing new, but this being the first election I am totally into, I am just finding myself disgusting with it all.

Why aren't their commercials about them, instead they are about what their rival can or cannot do. Why can't they seem to answer a question that is asked of them before going off on a tagent about something totally unrelated. Focus here fellows. If you are that great of a candidate focus on YOU, not the other guy. I am just completely discouraged. So what did I do last night instead? I watched Dirty Jobs of course. Mike Rowe is my hero, no seriously, I do find him very attractive. If you have never watched you have to check it out, even if only to see Mike.

Warning Mookie Doodle Designs

I highly suggest to anyone who frequents WAHM businesses online that they beware of Jennifer Davis of FL. After being her customer for quite some time, I am now in a situation where I stand to loss out on $100+ worth of items that are due me from her. Although her work"mom"ship has always been great, her customer service now leaves very much to be desired. She has always had a slower than normal turn around time, but at this point in time due to the amount of time my order is taking, excuses galore, discrepancies in her emails to me, and a down right nasty attitude I have been forced to file a dispute with PayPal to try to recoup my money. I know of at least a few places she sells at this time.
Mookie Doodle Designs- Make Your Day Smell a Little Sweeter!!
Just Sew Savvy™ Online Shop
I have also been told some information regarding her can be found here as well.
http://thedramaofdiaperswappers.wordpress.com/2008/09/11/threats-on-ds/andhttp://thedramaofdiaperswappers.wordpress.com/2008/09/14/birds-of-a-feather/

Just beware of who you order from and always always file with PayPal within the time frame for a claim if in doubt. Since outing this WAHM I have been contacted by at least 8 people who are still waiting on something from her, or know of someone who is waiting on something. It seems Jennifer likes to try to get by with printing PayPal shipping labels far in advance of mailing packages if she mails them at all. In the past there have also been a question of her holding a raffle for a mama who sadly lost a child and then never sending the proceeds from the raffle to that mama. Some other very gracious person stepped up and sent that mama what the proceeds were and whether or not she was every reimbursed by Jennifer I have no idea.

A new addition

My husband has got to be one of the most patient, understanding, easy going, passive individuals I have ever met. Well he is with me anyway, some people actually see him as a total bear. But he is just my big teddy bear. Yesterday out of the clear blue sky I called him up while he was at work and asked if I could get a hamster. He asks me why. I give him my reasons. Mostly to make the kids smile! Anyway he tells me this, "We talked about pets, no more pets Holly, no more, ok? But do whatever you want." He always adds that do whatever you want thing. You think he would have learned by now that the sarcastic, guilt inducing comment does not work on me, at all. Because within an hour I was purchasing an adorable little teddy bear hamster which I named Sandy along with an awesome condo like cage. The pet store said it was a boy but being so young it is kind of hard to tell for sure so a unisex name like Sandy suits him well. He is white and cream color, and shy so no pictures yet.

The kids got home from school at staggered times, so each of them got to be surprised individually. Their smiles are totally worth it all. Sandy is residing in Jewel's room since she has the most room, and shhhh don't tell them I am saying this, but the most neat one of the three. Everyone seems to understand although she is rooming with Jewel, she is everyone's pet. So far anyway. I expect to get a few complaints once the novelty wears off and I am sure each child will be begging for their own, which will certainly not happen.

My awesome hubby didn't get home until about 10 last night and he seemed fairly ok with the family member, although he still doesn't understand why? But with me, I think he is fairly used to unpredictable, spur of the moment, instant gratification decision making by now. Hopefully in a few days Sandy (AKA Little Guy by Jewel) will be more settled and I'll get a few adorable shots of him to share.

Isn't He Lovely????

I have nothing to say. I am tired, cranky, and my head hurts. So I thought I would show everyone my son. He brought home his school pictures yesterday. He doesn't like them. But I do. He looks so grown up and dare I say cute? I know he reads here occasionally so if "cute" is not an acceptable word I am sure I will hear about it. 7th grade, middle school. Where did time go? This is the first time in a long time I am actually buying all my kids their school pictures. More expensive, but we never seem to make it anywhere else to get them taken.

Is He Serious????

Okay what respect that I had gained for McCain over the past few weeks is quickly drying up. Wasn't it McCain who said like a week ago that our economy wasn't in that bad of shape. Now he is suspending his campaign and wants to postpone tomorrow debate with Obama to focus on the dire situation. What an asshat. For real. Flip flop much? Man up, get to debating, we have an election in uhhhh 40 or so days and still have for whatever reason undecided voters. Do not use our floundering economy, you know the one that was not headed for a recession according to you a week ago, as an excuse to not debate. This pisses me off. And he has called on Obama to follow his lead??? Nice try, so if he doesn't you want to make him look like the bad guy. Not working. UGH UGH UGH, I am pissed off.

Rough Morning

This morning was tough for Amber. It was a morning filled with lots of questions about Hercules. It's only been a week so I totally expect it. She wanted to know if his soul was in heaven where his body was. I really didn't expect to tell the girls about any of this, but since we expect his ashes back any day now and she asked I figured I would tell her about the cremation. She actually had a lot of very well thought out questions about it and seems to understand it. There was lots of tears though. I tried to explain to her that while we are all sad and miss him, that Hercules is very happy and healthy where he is. She has her good days and bad days and today unfortunately started out as one of those bad days. To add to it, it is Wednesday which means garbage day. The garbage truck fills Amber will huge amounts of anxiety and fear and it always seems to come to our street at the same time as we are waiting for the bus. A week and a half until therapy starts, I cannot wait. This poor girl need more coping skills than I can give her.

Politics

There is a new report out saying that it is estimated that McCain has an automatic 6 point lead on Obama due to the fact he is white and Obama is not. No one can dare say for one moment racism doesn't exist now a days, it is alive and well unfortunately. I saw on some news channel a few weeks ago an anchor interviewing people somewhere down south. Most people said race doesn't have any influence on how they were voting. One guy though, he stood there proud as anything in all his ignorant glory and said "I ain't voting for no colored boy." At the very last this man was honest. I think lots of people say race has no impact when they may even be lying to themselves. They may not think it does, but it may sway them somehow.

I am just so disappointed this morning after reading this survey. Are these people even looking at the two candidates stance on issues at all? Or can they not get past looking at the color of their skin? Okay I am more than disappointed I am disgusted. If you are voting for McCain because you like his ideas, his policies, his take on your hot issues, then VOTE MCCAIN. If you are voting for Obama because you like his ideas, his policies, his take on your hot issues, then VOTE OBAMA. Vote for the right person to do the job, not the right race to do it, because I have news people, there is no "right" race people.

Geez this news totally has stomped all over the buzz I have had going on this week leading up to the debate this Friday! Maybe I will just not watch the news until after the debate on Friday because it is such a buzzkill.

Mean Girls (and Boys)

Yesterday Amber came home looking very sad. I thought maybe she was just beat after a long week, but she told me that she didn't have a single friend in school. She told me one girl was mad at her because she tripped and thought Amber pushed her, she said her two best friends from last year were in another class, she went on with a few examples. She is really having a tough time this year. Then she tells me she is never wearing the shirt she is wearing again, which kind of took me by surprise since she made a very big deal the night before about just having to wear that very shirt that day. Well it turns out G, a boy in her class, called her fat belly.

I will be the first to admit that Amber is not shaped like most of the other children her age, but at the same time I do not think she is "fat." Yes she probably weighs a bit more than she should, but she was from the moment she came screaming into this world a bit larger than your average child. In any case, I told her G was silly and probably just an angry boy and couldn't think of anything else mean to say so he said that. She seemed to accept that answer.

Fast forward to later in the evening she asks me if I told Daddy what G said to her. I said no and she went on to tell Daddy. Daddy in his usually Daddy wisdom says you should have punched him in the eye, to which Amber giggled and said no way I am not getting detention because of G. Then she tells Daddy, I should put you in parent detention for telling me that. I then asked Amber what she did do when G said this to her and she said I unzipped my book bag. I was a bit confused so I asked for what, remembering I packed her a new pair of scissors that morning, she wouldn't have, would she???? She told me after I unzipped my book bag I put it over my head so no one could see me. Then she goes back to talking to Jewel O. M. G. (She later also told us G calls people names every day and usually gets into trouble it was just time the teacher didn't hear so he got away with it.)

I look at John and said that makes me want to cry to which he replied everything make you want to cry Holly. But I mean really how could kids be so mean, how could another child make my little girl feel the need to hide in her book bag. My heart seriously broke into pieces for her. I remember being picked on as a kid, to this day I remember how mean the kids were. Relentlessly little jerks. At the time though I took everything they said as total truth. If they were saying that about me, must be true, I must be those things. I DO NOT want my little girl viewing herself through the eyes of her peers the way I did.

I kept thinking what nasty little kids. Then I thought to myself, no they are not. I blame their parents. Totally, completely blame their parents. If these little heartless kids were brought up in homes where they were taught others had feelings and to respect others and to not say anything unless you had something nice to say they wouldn't be walking around day in and day out making their peers feel like gum on the bottom of their shoe. I bet their parents were the type of kids in school who teased me as a kid. It's a cycle. A sad vicious cycle.

So empty

It is so odd now that Herc is gone. I knew it would be hard, but it was way harder than I imagined. Things I didn't put much thought into keep coming up, his cage, his love seat at the end of our bed, his food bowl, the front door is now open something that never happened before. I noticed John took his leash out into the shed. The other dogs are very quiet. I think they know, even though the two of them and Herc didn't get along very well. The last few months Herc mostly slept all day long curled up in the corner by the front door taking up virtaully no room at all, but now the whole house seem so big and so empty. It is different, odd, not a nice feeling. I feel guilty. I know he wasn't well, he was old, weak, but maybe it wasn't time. Maybe he could have held on longer. He loved the fall when it started getting cool, he could have laid outside all day while John worked on things in the yard. This morning as I was standing at the bus stop I was thinking, he will miss that this year, maybe we should have waited, given him that, one last time. I don't know, maybe I am being silly. Lots of maybes.

Sad

Tonight we are sending our oldest dog to Heaven. We are all really sad. The kids have all had very different reactions but I think they all "get" it. Jewel kept asking if he could have more days, then started asking how he would get to God, if we were driving him, if God would pet him, etc. So sweet. Amber on the other hand at first kept looking for ways to stop it. She asked if there medicines to stop it, she asked what a booster shot was, then she said she was sorry we had him before she wished we just got him now. But now she kind of is just avoiding the topic all together. Carlos just cried, I think he will be ok. I am most worried about Amber out of all the kids, considering the other issues she is having.

We took lots of pics yesterday of everyone, last night John & I took the dog out for a walk down by the water and out for some McDonald's his favorite treat. We're all pretty sad. I think it all finally has hit John. I wish I could take away the hurt for him. I know when we get back tonight from the vet without the dog it is going to be harsh reality for the kids, especially the girls. I know this is all a part of life and something they have to experience but it doesn't make it any easier. I am trying to keep it together for everyone, I have showed very little emotion through this all, but inside I am falling apart.

Assault of the Commercials

Well September is upon us. The kids are in school. A few stray leaves have fallen. Halloween items have hit the store shelves hard. We wake to an occasional cool morning. And the dreaded endless stream of toy commercials have begun. We have just hit the halfway mark of September and I have heard see that, look at this, I need that, put that on my Christmas list, Santa is bringing me that, countless times already. Do I really have another 3 plus months to listen to this? The answer is yes, and it will only get worse. The requests will come faster and furiouslier. Is that even a word? Probably not but it works for me.

It may be because I am older, or because I am more cynical, or maybe even a bit myopic but the toys seem so oh I don't know dumbed down. Dolls that swim. Dogs that grow. When I was a kid we used our ::::gasp:::: you better sit down for this, imagination. I am all for technology allowing us to do most things, heck I don't know what I would do without my remote control or DVD player, my Ipod, oh the list goes on and on, but what I am even more for is toys that allow for fostering a child's imagination. Allowing a child's imagination to run wild. Kids want this believe it or not, why do you think they would most times rather play with the box a toy came in rather than the toy itself? Because that box has more possibilities than the toy, silly. That box can be ANYTHING they imagine it to be.

Anyway I am getting away from myself here. My original point was, I understand big business must assault us with their commercials, it's what brings in the almighty dollar. But do they have to do it so darn soon? My kids literally started school a week ago and instead of concentrating on what is important right now, even thinking Halloween costumes maybe, they are thinking Christmas lists. Slow down! That's all I ask. Slow down!

Jewel says.... (1st Day of School)

After getting dressed for school:
I no wear skirt wit pockets mama, no. Skirts no pockets mama. No want this.
(Little does she know we have about 5 in the drawer in all different colors, note to self, must go shopping, again.)

Looking in mirror, tucking hair behind ears talking to herself, smiling:
My hair pitty, I have very pitty hair.

This year Jewel has afternoon class instead of morning class like she is used to. This was the conversation from 8am when Amber got on the bus until 11:30 until we left for school:
School now mama, school now, now? Mama school! School now or I break this mama. Hear me, watch me. I here all alone, Carlos school, Amber school, me no school mama. I no like this. I go to school right now. Me mad mama!

Anywho today was Amber and Jewel's 1st day of school and it went great, no tears. I really surprised myself. =) I cried a lot last year. LOL.

Amber things

Amber turned 6 a couple of days ago so her and I were looking through her baby book. We were looking at ultrasound pictures of her. She could not believe that she was a ghost when she was in my belly. I literally almost peed my pants laughing. She has a point though, I guess those pics do look kind of ghostly.


This afternoon at lunch we had this conversation:

Amber: Mommy did you know that they named a state after Hannah Montana?

Me: No I think they named her after a state?

Amber: No, I don't think so. She is like famous you know.


Yesterday sitting in the waiting room of Jewel's speech therapy Amber decided she was too grown to sit near me so she sat across the room. The room was so silent you could hear a pin drop which is kind of unusual for the Children's Hospital but anyway. There was Amber, me, and another child's father. Amber was listening to her new MP3 player, I was reading, and the other guy was just sitting there. I looked up at Amber who was in her own world listening to music and just kind of stared at her. Geez my little girl got big. She was sitting there smiling, then her head starting bobbing to the music, ok it was coming, I was seeing it, here it was, "I GOT NERVE" she belts out. Amber. She keeps going. Loud too. Amber. She doesn't hear me. I wave my hand. She looks at me and asks what? I said you are a little loud. She says no she is not. I said yes you are you can't hear yourself with the music on and the guy starts chuckling and says she was really into it, she looks at him, turns red as an apple and runs to me where she buries her head into my side. It was hysterical. Needless to say she took off the MP3 player and didn't listen again in the waiting room.

This and that

Two days until Carlos starts middle school. Who is nervous? Is he? No. Am I? Yes! Honestly I am more nervous than sending him off to kindergarten. I mean I knew he would be taken care of in kindergarten. 6th grade is a whole new ball game. These kids are more or less on their own in a sense. In a school where there are one of a thousand other kids. Changing classes. Not every teacher knows him. Lockers, new faces, new buses, new everything. ACK! I feel like I am the one going off to a new school, my stomach is in knots, I am totally and completely stressed, and I am totally trying not to show it, making jokes about it. But in all seriousness I am petrified.

Tomorrow is Amber's birthday. 6 years ago she was born. Wowzers. Seems like yesterday. For real! We got her a pair of pink studs that are far bigger than any pair of earrings she has had so far, a hot pink MP3 player that I already loaded up with some songs for her, a Hannah Montana umbrella, and she will get a Webkinz too. It will all be packaged up in Hannah Montana wrapping paper of course and what goes with that but a Hannah Montana card. I hate Hannah, lol.

Jewel finally calls Amber Am-ba instead of Am-ma. All the time. It stops me dead in my tracks every time. So awesome! I think her speech therapist at school is going to be super impressed with the improvements she has made this summer. I know most likely everyone at the school probably thought I wasn't making the best decision pulling her out for the summer, but I think Mommy's intuition was right and my girl needed a break. It did her good!

The past couple of nights we have had fires in out chimena to get rid of some of the brush in our yard to get ready for our BBQ next weekend. Well yesterday we got the ingredients for s'mores. Believe it or not I have never had a s'more before. I have had every ingredient of a s'more before just never together. And I have to say after all the big hub-bub John said about them, I was not very impressed. Hehe. I stuck with my toasted marshmallows the rest of the night, now those I LOVE! Jewel had a total chocolate rush last night. I have never seen a child on a sugar high like this she was in a total manic mode. It was completely insane and she had a chocolate hangover this morning as well, she slept in until 11am. We learned something though, we seriously must limit her chocolate. The girls and I ended the night by playing red light green light in the dewy grass under the stars last night by the light of the fire, and I must say it was lots of fun. Although the summer is coming to a very sudden close, it is going out on an awesome note!

One more thing. Another hurricane. Even if you can only donate $2. It is something. The Red Cross does not run itself. Their money has to come from somewhere. Skip tomorrow morning's cup of coffee, or read the paper online, even something small, if everyone just donated something small, it all adds up. These people were literally just getting back on their feet, some were not even there yet. Yes, yes they don't have to live there, they knew this was possible again, but people this is their HOME. Think about it that way, could you easily give up your HOME. I know I could not and the likelihood that a hurricane or flood could wipe out my home one day is a reality. So please think about helping, if you are not convinced turn on CNN or FOX. Until we all start thinking as one, that we are in this together, things will never change. American Red Cross: Donate Now

Bratz

So the makers of Barbie sued the makers of Bratz, because of an employment contract dispute. The maker of Bratz evidently came up with the idea for Bratz while working for Mattel, who makes Barbie. The jury sided with Mattel and they were awarded $100 million. That is not really the point I am making, just a little background info. My point is in reading this story I learned Bratz profits top $500 million a year. I was stunned to be honest. Is the market for these little whore dolls really that large? Do parents really buy these little street walkers for their little girls? I know a lot of parents do not care for Barbie, she sets a bad example, causes body image issues, her proportions are just unrealistic for the average woman. Fine and well. Bratz though take it to a whole new level. If Barbie encourages girls to have bodies that are unattainable, do Bratz encourage girls to dress like ladies of the night? To wear more make up than any circus clown does? To have shoe sizes larger than their waist sizes?

I banned Bratz in my house long ago. I hate the dolls for all the above mentioned reason, but also because they are the ugliest dolls I have ever seen. I find a troll doll more attractive to be honest. Now my girls have at some points in time been given Bratz dolls as gifts, and I do not take them from them, but I made sure I commented on how the dolls do not dress like real girls should dress and I also make sure they meet an untimely demise eventually. Even more disturbing in my opinion are the Baby Bratz, wow hooker babies, how interesting.

I know, I know if children are looking at dolls to be their role models, even just image role models, maybe I am doing something wrong. NO. I do not agree. Grown women, who are mature and have very strong minds of their own, look at the images of celebrities gracing the covers of magazines and feel inadequate quite often, so is it that far of a reach a child would want to replicate their favorite toy? I don't think so.

If you choose to allow your child to play with Bratz, fine, that's okay for your family. It is not okay for mine though. I just hope that the Bratz evidently large buying market are instilling in their children they are purchasing these dolls for that their image is not a good thing. That it is not acceptable to look that way in real life. I really was just super disappointed to learn how large of a market these little hooker dolls have. I almost wish Mattel would have been awarded their $2 billion in damages they originally requested and put this doll straight into the depths of, oh I don't know bankruptcy.

Herc

Then:








Now:


It's almost that time for our dog to cross the Rainbow Bridge. We are going to let him go there. I realize that a lot of people read my blog and have debated whether or not I would blog about this since it may be a bit controversial. But I need somewhere to get my feelings out about it, and after all this is my blog.

Our oldest dog, Hercules, is a German Shepherd who John has had long before I met him. Hercules was actually my mother in law's dog, but due to special circumstances he ended up with John. So this dog has been in the family since John was 16 years old. Hercules had a very mischievous youth, which is how he became John's dog after John moved out of his mother's. He was not a very friendly dog to other animals because he was attacked by another dog when he was little. He is a special dog in our opinions, a dog who would rather a piece of fruit or a vegetable over a steak. He has a special fondness of apples. The mere mention of an apple gets him drooling. He was born on a farm with pigs and he loves to root. His teeth are in bad shape because he loved chewing rocks. He is smart, sometimes he can outsmart us.

Hercules has started showing his age a while back, just normal things, he liked to sleep more often than not, he moved at his own pace, wouldn't like walking anymore, he started having to go out and do his business a lot more often, and we actually started leaving a bowl of apples in the middle of the dining room table and he left them alone. The vet has always given him a good bill of health, he just says he is getting old. The vet asked us exactly how old he was, I told him almost 13 and asked what is this breed's life expectancy and the doctor kind of muttered 10. We have known he is up there in age for a while.

Lately though things are getting worse. He is getting very snippy with everyone. His back end seems to have lost most of it's muscle tone. He has trouble standing up, laying down, scratching his head with his back legs like he used to do, he can no longer jump much at all whereas in the past he could clear things very high. The latest thing is he doesn't even seem to know when he is going to the bathroom. He just starts going, laying wherever he is and realizes what he did and start getting up. This is poop and pee. It sucks. We know he doesn't mean to do it. He's lost most of his hearing. He sleeps a lot, and is hard to even wake up sometimes. At night if he doesn't wake us up to go out, I wake up looking for him, checking to make sure he is still breathing. The good thing is he doesn't seem to be suffering or in pain, not that he shows us anyway, he is just elderly. In dog years he is almost 91. His quality of life is hardly there anymore, at least compared to what it was.

A lot has gone into this decision. The decision was mostly left up to John because well he and Herc have this bond. He has had this dog a little less than half of his life. He has never really lost "anyone" so close to him. I know a decision was/is heart wrenching, but right. But my heart bleeds for John, it really really does. Our family seriously will not be the same with Herc. As much as this dog has been a huge pain in the rear, more in his youth than now (now I understand that he cannot help the way he is) we all love him. Our lives revolve around Herc. We make sure we are never gone for more than a few hours, we don't open certain doors and windows because he is not fond of outside animals, I mean John and I have a loveseat at the end of our bed for him. That is Herc's couch.

I remember when John and I were still dating, I slept over one night (yeah, yeah I was that kind of girl, lol) and I woke up to my purse on the floor dumped out and my shirt on the floor torn up. Herc went through my purse, little did I know at the time he had a thing for gum and there was gum in there and then he ate my shirt, I assume out of spite. John was always his, now I was in the picture. He and I eventually worked out our differences, I used to work night shift at the hospital and then came home in the morning, John was already gone for work, and I'd sleep all day snuggled up in the bed with the dog. Another time he got up on the counter and ate a whole cantaloupe. The whole ENTIRE thing, the only clue we found was a single seed on the floor. And his huge bloated belly. I remember the story of him trying to eat a candle (this was before John and I met) because it was shaped like an apple, him and his apples. He used to play with empty soda bottle tossing them in the air and catching them, chewing them until he accomplished what he set out to do, pop the cap off. Herc would always sleep anywhere John was working around the house, even if it meant in a pile of saw dust. He hates the vacuum and the nail gun. He also hates fireworks and thunder. He used to love the snow, his favorite time of year though was when summer was turning to fall and the weather was cool and crisp. He used to like swimming, but he hated and still hates baths.

We are having our usual end of the summer BBQ the weekend after this one. Less than 2 weeks. We are hoping Herc hangs out with us until then, since everyone will be here (hopefully). Everyone who has loved him could see him one last time. Kind of morbid I guess, in a way, but having a last goodbye is always nice in retrospect. The week following the BBQ I guess we will bring him to the vet for the last time. Our lives will not be the same without Herc that's for sure. Herc is not the kind of dog who will ever be forgotten. He is truly one of a kind.

Laughter

When my sister and I were kids we would get these fits of laughter that were unstoppable. I don't ever remember what we were laughing at, maybe nothing at all, but the laughter grew and grew until we cackled like fools and usually annoyed anyone around us. I remember once my sister was in the doctor's office getting her temperature taken and one of the fits of laughter struck and by the time they came to see what the temp was it had risen way above what was normal all because she laughed and laughed with the thermometer in her mouth.

Our most memorable fits of laughter usually happen when we were both sleeping over our Gram's house. Never during the day, not during normal hours, always as we were settling down for bed. At first our Gram would laugh a bit with us but when our laughter took on a life of its own, she had had enough. She'd tell us she didn't care what time it was, she would get up and take us home, and this would make us laugh harder. I think because we knew she'd never. The same as I am not sure what caused the laughter I am not sure what caused it to eventually stop either, but it did.

Lately Amber has started giggling a lot. For no apparent reason usually, sort of like she heard a joke in her head, something no one else heard. Sometimes she will say something funny and just crack herself up. Whatever the reason it starts as a giggle and grows into an uncontrolled laugh. As soon as it hits the uncontrollably laugh stage, I start laughing. Laughing until my cheeks hurt, laughing until my sides hurt. I can't help it, memories wash over me like sunlight on a hot, cloudless summer day. Every time I think of my sister and I, laughing like two fools. How can that not make you smile? I guess you had to be there, because John usually finds this all pretty annoying, but seeing us cackling like that he doesn't say much, just looks at us, like we escaped the funny farm. I cannot wait until Jewel hits the age where she starts getting the giggles. When she and Amber will just look at each other and laugh for no apparent reason. Maybe because there is a secret only sisters can share, maybe because we, their parents, have embarrassed them by saying something stupid because we are oh so uncool, maybe because a cute boy caught their eye. Who knows what the reason will be, I am sure when they grow old they won't remember the reason either, just the bond they shared as they laughed their little heads off. There is nothing like childhood.

I Want To Sleep

It sucks not being able to sleep at night. S-U-C-K-S!!!!!! It's 5am and I have been up for a couple hours now. I am tired all day long, barely able to keep my eyes open, then come night time I am wide awake, daydreaming of being able to sleep. What the heck is wrong with me????

Entitled?

I really do not understand it. There is not that much time between when I was a kid and my kids are kids. At least I don't think so anyway. But my kids feel they are entitled to whatever they want and whenever they want it. I think my son is the worst of the 3. I am tired of being a walking ATM for these kids. John became tired of it long ago but I am the sucker. I hated wanted something when I was a kid, not that I wanted a lot, so I try not to make them want something unless it's something really special. Jewel who is only 4 wants a list of items. A cell phone, a camera and a vacuum, yes I said a vacuum. She needs her own vacuum for her room. :::sigh:::: Amber doesn't ask for too much really, she actually asked me today how she can earn $20 a week so she can buy her own Webkinz's, so I think she may have a clue. Carlos, oh boy, every day he needs money for something and not just $5 or $10. It's always at least $20-$25. Daily or least once every two days?!?!?!? What the heck? And if he is bought something, like the other day I bought him a crab trap, net, and bait he feels that doesn't count he i still entitled to money.

He asked for money yet again today. So I came up with a list of chores. He had to clean the street in front of the house, mow the lawn front and back, and read a good chunk of one of his summer reading books. He seriously has/had a good 8 hours at least to do those 3 things. He will then get money to go to a carnival tonight. He of course complained the whole way through and even at one point quit saying he didn't want to go. I guess he thought I would juts dish out the money then, I stood strong and said, okay don't go. I guess he knew I was serious because he is back outside mowing the rest of the lawn. I really don't think it's that bad for a kid to work for something they want, instead of always take, take, take. It makes them appreciate it more I think. Who knows, maybe I am wrong, maybe my view point is skewed? All I know is that the money he gets today he may consider not blowing through it like water since he is the one earning it and it didn't come straight off the money tree we have planted in our yard.

Nothing's New

I haven't blogged in a bit an figured I'd get on to do a quick update. I think I am finally over whatever I had, but it was bad. Plus we took a 2 hour car trip up north last Friday and I was sick the entire way, pull over and let me out sick. It was not pretty. I was so exhausted on the ride back I slept most of the way which is very unusual for me, the one and only place I can't sleep is in a car.

John and I got out this past weekend too. Not having the kids actually fell into our laps. We do not often look for someone to watch the kids so we can do anything, rarely ever. We usually just do things that we can do as a family, which is fine by us. But Nana had the girls for 22 hours straight this weekend because Jewel asked for a sleep over. At first John & I were lost, what the heck should we do. So we did a few things in the area and then later that evening headed to Atlantic City. We had a lot of fun. Didn't get home until 2am the next morning. I really paid for it on Sunday and was beat the entire day. I cannot even fathom that 2am was my usual getting home time at one point in my life. How did I function???

Yesterday I was struck with a huge burst of energy and did a bit around the house. Then had trouble falling asleep last night. It figures so again today I am exhausted. A definite decision has been made by about regarding going back to Century 21. I am both sad and happy about it, strange how 2 opposite emotions can be occurring at the same time. The kids are starting to get geared up for school, we have started shopping already. School starts in 22 days for Carlos and 27 for the girls, but I'm not counting. I say that with my fingers crossed by the way. We are busy with the business, and just trying to squeeze as much into what is left of summer.

Bernie Mac died last weekend, we were pretty sad about that. I watched a special about Caylee Anthony, the little girl missing from Florida and was sick to my stomach about the whole thing, so sad. I hope there is an outcome soon. I tried talking John into a goat, well half heartedly knowing we cannot get a goat, and he pretty much was left assured of the fact I am insane. Other than that, nothing new to say or even worth blog about, I just wanted to touch base and let everyone know I am still here, just a little quieter than usual.

Weekend and Stuff

I feel terrible. What is worse than burning with fever and having an awful cold with an infected throat? Burning with fever, having an awful cold and infected throat in the summer. UGH! I have had a cold for a couple of days but yesterday morning when I woke up and my uvula was like triple it's normal size and I felt the sucker sitting on the back of my tongue I went to urgent care. I have no idea if I have strep or not since they did not do a test. My throat is so severely infected, swollen, and filled with pus I needed antibiotic anyway. Doing a strep test would have been pointless. I can deal with the head congestion, my ears and nose are just filled. I can deal with the fever despite the fact it's been in the mid 80's outside. But this pain in my throat is just unbearable. It hurts to even swallow liquid at this point and the swelling makes it feel like something is in my throat just stuck. I want to go to sleep and wake up when this all goes away.

Anyway the weekend went well. We did end up hitting the beach and took one of my nieces with us too. Everyone had a really good time and no one got burned. There was a super unusual tidal pattern which left the beach with a good 50 feet or so of very shallow water before wash even broke. It was like a strip of wading pool water for 50 feet out. Really really nice, and cool I have never witnessed anything like that. I also got some shopping in this weekend and bought a few new small appliances for the kitchen, took a ton of stuff to the thrift shop for donation, and redid the decorations in the bathroom. I am a total shower curtain slut and redo the decorations in there often according to the curtain hanging. Redecorating the bathroom often *kind of makes up for the fact we have a very dated bathroom.

This weekend Jewel also hit us with the news she wants a bitty. (AKA birdy) Well if you know us you know the thought of another pet is out of the question, COMPLETELY! But it seemed as if John entertained the idea of a bitty, I think he is a sucker for Jewel. We stopped at the pet store to check them out, and both the girls left there screaming. Amber for a guinea pig and Jewel for a :::drumroll:::: little doggy. What happened to the birdy you ask, well clear as day she says, I changed my mind! Alrighty, well that kind of sucks because I, of all people, kind of liked this one cockatiel at the pet store and I began to entertain the idea of a birdy. Can you imagine? Again those of know me know I *hate birds. Like with a passion. They totally skeeve me out. In any case the weekend passed and we still have the same number of pets we started the weekend with which is entirely a good thing. This morning I woke up to find out our elderly German Shepherd has once again peed in Carlos' room. Yes we are good with the pets we have. Thankyouverymuch!

Wasp Attack

Last night John was home unexpectedly early so we went out to dinner and shopping. Everything was going great, kids were even in good moods. On the way home we made a quick stop. Well it turned into a real frightening experience. Amber who is always told to let us go ahead of her at all times, ventured ahead of us yet again. In doing so she disturbed a fairly large wasp nest. When a few decided to come flying out and see what the disturbance was she came running and screaming towards us and she fell. John swooped her up and swatted one out of her hair which had already stung her arm. The wasp was so large it looked like a carpenter bee. The wasp fly down and must have been really mad because then it flew right back up and stung John as well. Thankfully that one wasp was the only one that came out of the hive that was on the attack.

We were very fortunate looking back, getting away from all this with only 2 stings, it could have been a lot worse. Poor Amber though she was in pain. John too but he of course handled it like a trooper so he wouldn't scare Amber anymore than she was already. So we headed right to the drug store and got some Benadryl just in case and stuck some cold yogurt we just bought on Amber's arm for the swelling. What an evening!

Then this morning I awoke in a foul mood and have to admit it is still here. Not sure why really, just one of those days. Guess my many, many days of playing the woman with nerves made of steel catching up with me. Last night I went to sleep fully planning on attacking this house today, all day. It is a true mess, my laundry issues are out of control again. I do not mind doing the wash, it is the putting away of wash that does me in. I have mountains of clean wash everywhere and chances are it will all be rewashed. So much for my "green-ness."

Tomorrow is a beach day and I am looking forward to just sitting back, reading and relaxing. I am going to fully remember to slather on the sunscreen so we don't have a repeat of my burnt crisp legs from last week though. Hopefully my cranky mood will be gone long before then.