Girlfriends

Last night we were shopping in what will remain an undisclosed store due to prejudices against it, so take a guess, LOL. In any case my daughter, Amber, who will be 6 in September sees a little girl she knows and they run to each other and do the whole hug and smiles all around thing. The mother who missed this all because she was getting a cart kind of walked toward us catching the tail end of it and I suppose recognized Amber from school or day care and said to her daughter to say hi to her friend "don't be ignorant like that." I think my jaw hit the floor with an audible thud. Now the word ignorant was one I heard often growing up, it seemed to be a word of choice in the ghetto. There were a few words and phrases of choice. Ignorant, trifling, hoe, yo mama, word, jeepers, switching, those are just a few I can think of off the top of my head at 6am. Anyway when this child's mother said ignorant to her 5 or 6 year old it flooded my mind with memories, not especially good ones.

Amber said her good byes and as we walked away I asked John did you hear all that. I explained it all to him and also explained that the mother did not even give the girl the benefit of the doubt and that when she was away for a good few minutes the girls did speak, but she automatically jumped all over the girl. I really felt bad for the kid. Later I asked Amber what her friend's name was and she told me her name was "V." I had an AHHHH moment, it was all making sense. Amber the same V from daycare last summer? Yes. The same V you told me was so mean all the time? Yes. AHHHHH. Maybe, just maybe, she is so mean all the time because she learned it from Mommy???? Just a thought. The apple never falls far from the tree, learned behavior and all that fun stuff.

Something else also struck me as funny though. Amber and V greeted each other as though they were the best of friends. Girls always did this in my experience. Smiles, hugs, and fakeness all around, face to face. Then the claws came out behind the backs. Amber never ever had a single nice thing to say about this girl. She is mean, I don't like her, she doesn't share, she says nasty things, I won't play with her anymore. Then they see each other and it's sunshine and lace. I was never like that, ever. I was always one who dealt it like I felt it. I guess that's why I was never one with very many girlfriends. I am glad Amber has learned at an early age not to be like I was. Or at least to let bygones be bygones. Having girlfriends is important. You really don't learn that until you don't have very many. Is having girlfriends worth the expense of being a little "fake" sometimes, I don't know, but I struggle with that sometimes.