Sad

Tonight we are sending our oldest dog to Heaven. We are all really sad. The kids have all had very different reactions but I think they all "get" it. Jewel kept asking if he could have more days, then started asking how he would get to God, if we were driving him, if God would pet him, etc. So sweet. Amber on the other hand at first kept looking for ways to stop it. She asked if there medicines to stop it, she asked what a booster shot was, then she said she was sorry we had him before she wished we just got him now. But now she kind of is just avoiding the topic all together. Carlos just cried, I think he will be ok. I am most worried about Amber out of all the kids, considering the other issues she is having.

We took lots of pics yesterday of everyone, last night John & I took the dog out for a walk down by the water and out for some McDonald's his favorite treat. We're all pretty sad. I think it all finally has hit John. I wish I could take away the hurt for him. I know when we get back tonight from the vet without the dog it is going to be harsh reality for the kids, especially the girls. I know this is all a part of life and something they have to experience but it doesn't make it any easier. I am trying to keep it together for everyone, I have showed very little emotion through this all, but inside I am falling apart.