My husband, I love him so!

My husband, the big kid at heart, was riding his bike yesterday! Now I was recording him on my phone and had no intentions of posting it here, that is until he told me to put the phone away because he knew I would be posting this on my blog. Well the nerve. So I thought since I was being accused in any case, I would post here. As his 29 year old self was impressing our children with his "stunts" I was not so secretly hoping he would pull, twist, or sprain something and have to call out of work today. Bad wife I am!

Cat Attack (also some prayers needed)

We have a cat. Her name is Tiger. We adopted her about 6 years ago. She is between 7-8 years old, not really sure. Tiger has been a good cat, never has gone potty anywhere but the litter box. I never had any issues with Tiger until maybe a year ago. Tiger decided she hated me and decided she would start showing me regularly how much she hates me. This damn cat attacks me for no good reason whenever the mood strikes. I can be laying in bed and she will creep over to me, and I have gotten to a point where I can prepare for it now it has happened so many times, and just attack me, usually my head. John & I sit on the couch after the kids go to bed at night and watch TV, the cat has also decided this is a great time to attack me. She will come running across the living room and take a flying leap at me!

What the heck? What have I done to her? I feed her, give her water, change her little box, let her sleep wherever she sees fit, even though it usually involves leaving a pile of cat hair on my blankets. She still hates me. Now the attack itself usually is not too bad, you see she is declawed and has lost quite a few teeth so she can't do much harm. In any case, harm or no harm, I do not like being attacked by a pet that I care for. You would think the picture above is cute and all until you hear the truth, the reason is paw is out is because she was swinging at me because I was too close to her. Moody little thing!

I would also like to ask for prayers for the family of rapper Xzibit, who has become a household name due to his work with MTV and Pimp My Ride. He lost a son yesterday who was born into this world too soon and lost his battle to survive. The following is his blog post, you can feel his heartache through his words.

Monday, May 26, 2008

ITS 4:32AM AND I HAVE SOME BAD NEWS........
AS you all know, I shared with you the announcment of my newborn son Xavier Kingston Joiner on may 15th and also informed you that he was born prematurly. well this week was extremly difficult for him because his lungs were not strong enough to handle regular oxygen on his own. Xavier passed away this morning at 3:30am and I must tell you this, It is unatural for a parent to bury a child. I am telling you this because of the same reason I tell you when im having great times, life is too short to be fake. Hold on to your kids if you have them, protect them and show them you love them everyday you wake up and see them, dont take a second you get to hug them teach them and care for them for granted. You can have all the material wealth in the universe but it is NOTHING compared to having your family. I am thankful for all of my blessings and im not one to question God's perfect plan, so I leave you with great love and thanks for the love that was sent earlier on my pervious blog to my son. Of course I need to take some time and handle my loss, STAY FOCUSED PEOPLE. Its not promised to any of us.R.I.P Xavier May 15th 2008- May 26th 2008

Maybe he loves me after all........

I think despite the fact that my son acts like my mere existence is somehow a burden to him, he just may love me. He wore this shirt yesterday for Special Person's Day. I went to school to have lunch with him. By the way his shirt says My Mom Rocks in case it's too small to read. I bought the shirt for him months ago as a joke, never thinking he would actually wear it, and what a shocker I got when he wore it yesterday. I have said it before and I will say it again. For everyone who swears that girls are so much harder than boys, especially in their pre-teems, you have not met my son! He is an emotional rollercoaster. He has his highs, lows, these drastic twists and turns, and the loops, oh the loops!

Monkey on Her Back

You know those types of parents, you see them out and you stare. You wonder why they treat their children that way. You think to yourself you never did that or never would do that. You think it's cruel, humiliating, treatment meant for an animal. You think if the parent would only pay more attention. Well I know what you think, I thought all this too, until now. Now I am that parent who will probably be getting the stares. I bought Jewel a "leash."

It is actually a backpack looking harness that is a monkey and the tail is the "leash." I do not walk her around by the tail part. I loop the tail on my wrist as the safety and I make her hold my hand. The tail is on my wrist for when she breaks free from my hand, because I know she will. Did I ever think I would be the type of parent who would use one of these types of things on their children? No way. Was there a time I looked down on people that did? Sure was. That is until about 3 years ago or so until I heard the stories of a few parents who had children who made them necessary, then I understood. I am now one of these parents.

Most of you are probably thinking, control your child. You are the parent. Look, I know this. Things are not always black and white, there are shades in between. When you have three children, which in reality is not all that many, sometimes your attention is a little diverted at the exact second your child decides to dart across an area that is unsafe, sometimes deadly. It happens, to the best of us, and no I am not making excuses. Jewel has some issues; her speech issue, some sensory issues, yes behavioral issues. I know some people that know me and our family may feel I treat her differently and am a little softer on her than I am on the other kids, and this may be true in some sense. But I think until you are a parent of a child with special needs, you can't really understand the thought process. Or maybe my thought process is a little skewed? My thought is Jewel faces so many obstacles in day-to-day life, so many things we take for granted are a challenge to her, so I pick and choose my battles with her. Why make things more of a battle for her, why make life tougher? Do I let her get away with blatantly horrid things, no. Do I let what I consider small things to slide sometimes, do I let her meltdown and ignore it, do I reward her when she gets home from school daily with a bag of M&M's, yes, yes, and yes.

So anyway I did get Jewel a harness buddy because I feel her running off is a dangerous behavior that we need to correct. She has run into the middle of streets, parking lots, through stores and we can't find her, and so on. I hold her hand with her "tail-leash" wrapped on my wrist in case she breaks the hold of my hand. The idea is to get her used to holding my hand. She hates her monkey buddy and I am using that as a tool. I told her as soon as she learns to walk nicely, not let go of our hand, etc she wouldn't need monkey anymore. Yesterday was our first day with monkey. She has already escaped the harness without even unclipping it, we got a few looks, but I know this will take some time and the looks well we will have to suck up and deal with, because I used to give those looks and karma sucks. But my Jewel will be safe in the meantime.

And It Is Over

Alright so the world did not stop spinning when the winner of American Idol was announced last night and it was not my Lil' David. I love that kid, I do. My first thought, in all honesty, was oh no, his father is probably going to come down on that poor kid like a ton of bricks for not doing good enough because he seems like a Joe Jackson type of stage dad. They talked to lil' David's dad's dad last night and he said he was proud of his son (meaning David's dad). HUH? Your grandson is on stage singing you moron, not your son. Okay so your son pushed your grandson to where he is but come on. Stage parents, not a topic I should get started on, so let's move on.

Anywho, I think both David's will go on to do fine, and have careers, and anyway the second place winners usually do better as proven in the past, right? But they both seemed like such genuine guys and I am happy for Cook too. His family deserves a break with his brother being so sick and all. Last nights show was amazing. I have always known AI to drag their shows out, especially results shows. Last night the show flew by. I wish it were a 4 hour show, and not 2. The star power they had there was awesome, and George Michael, holy moly man, what a powerful song, with a powerful message. I do not care how many men, in how many bathrooms he has approached, he brought down the house. He was my first crush, other than Bucky Dent, when I was a kid. You know, when he was in Wham, with ummmm, did that other guy even have a name. Anyway I have never gotten so into AI before, other than the auditions, and I am going to true not to do it again.

I would really love to go see the AI tour this summer, not quite as much as I would like to see the NKOTB tour, but all that remains to be seen. You know with the economy sucking and all. Gas prices, food prices, yada, yada. But I won't get started on all that.

New Beginings and Endings

How do you know you are a small town girl? When you are overly thrilled at the grand opening of a new food store in your town, that's how. We have our own ShopRite, doing the happy dance, the same one I did when I got out of the car at the brand new BJ's a couple towns away last weekend. Now please understand that when you have a 60,000+ square foot store that is all shiny and new coming to a town of 8,000 people on a good day, it IS exciting.

Yesterday we went to the grand opening party at ShopRite, because Carlos and about 20 other kids were singing there, and I was blown away. What a posh affair they had. There were people in uniforms walking around serving hor'dourves. The food spread they put out was what would be seen at a some really lavish affair, a chocolate fountain with strawberries so red and weighing at least a 1/4 pound each. Lamb chops with pesto dipping sauce, scallops wrapped in bacon, coconut shrimp, sushi. All sorts of desserts. A band, the kids singing. The decorations, so many red, white and blue flowers, like I said it was a posh affair. And YES I am excited! They officially opened to the public at 7am this morning, but I had a meeting this morning and some things to do at home today, plus therapy with Jewel so I will be food shopping there this evening. My kids think I have lost my mind, especially Amber. Amber has said to me no less than 20 times since yesterday, "It is just a ShopRite Mom, so what." Silly girl, so much to learn.

Now moving onto other important matters, American Idol. David Archuleta won the night in my eyes last night. I do love both Davids, but my heart belongs to little David. It belongs to little David so much so, that after AI, while watching Hell's Kitchen I voted for little David a few times. By a few I mean, oh say 100 or so. Now before you go thinking I am some sort of American Idol looney, please understand this is the first season ever I have become invested in this show, little David is the first contest ever that has stolen my heart for many reasons, and well it's not like I robbed my children of my time to vote or took off of work to vote, or lost sleep to vote. I voted while watching a show I usually watch at 9pm at night. Wow, I said a lot in defense of myself, babbling, a sure sign of loss of sanity, huh? I better quite down now. Peace!

Amber will move on

This morning was my meeting with Amber's teacher to discuss Amber's placement next year. I have been stressing over this. I was so worried they would suggest putting her in transitional 1st grade instead of first grade. I was worried she would be ostracized because of her size. She is already one of the biggest if not the biggest kids in her grade levels in the whole school, not just her class. Well, after an almost 45 minute meeting that was very detailed she will be moving ahead to regular 1st grade with her class and I am pleased with our decision. There are still a few areas that I am very concerned with, but they are not very academic in nature, and we are aware of them, and will be watching them very closely. I cannot tell you how realized I am.


Also just wanted to mention the season finale of House was last night and it was the most kick ass episode ever! House has feeling, Wilson's heart was broken, #13 has a disease, and everyone is forever changed. I cannot wait until next season. CANNOT WAIT!!!!!!!!!! Oh and they totally threw Obama an endorsement via a sticker on a bathroom wall stall. That rocks!

Honest opinions please!

Okay so I knew I looked older when I no longer got asked for ID when ordering a drink anymore, not that I drink a lot. =) But I don't think I look *that old. I do feel old though, way older than I actually am. But anywho this weekend my husband told me I look older than I am. I am bothered. Way more bothered than I let on. What the heck? First of all, even if I Iook the age he suggested doesn't he know that is one of those things you should never say to a woman, especially the one who cooks your food everyday! So please look at my picture in my side bar and leave me a comment, how old do I look to you? I promise to not to get offended. Well I promise to try to not get offended, hehe!

P.S. Don't look in my profile and cheat. Pretty Please! I want honest opinions, really!

Feelings and Mother's Day update

My husband does have feelings after all. Sometimes I swear although one of the sweetest persons I have ever met I doubt my husband has feeling or a sentimental bone in his body. Well yesterday proved me wrong. He calls me and says, my wedding ring is gone. Maybe I took it off in my sleep he says. I will take a look I tell him and I do in the bed, on the floor, under the bed, nothing. Even in his dirty pile of clothes alongside the bed. Nowhere. Now I was a little worried. Hmmmmm, where oh where could his ring be? I look in the living room, in the couch and there it was. I call him back and tell him and the sound of relief in his voice was so obvious, it surprised me to be honest.

I later asked him if he was relieved if I found his ring because it was expensive or if he thought I would be mad. (His wedding ring actually cost more than mine, I am sure because it is probably twice the amount of gold and because it is a two-tone gold blend in it.) His answer again surprised me, he said because it is my wedding ring and it means a lot to me. Whoa!!!!!!! Like I said he is not a sentimental man at all so this totally came out of left field. It was very sweet to hear though.

Mother's Day was nice. We hit the zoo on Saturday. I took a late afternoon nap while John was in the yard with the kids then he woke me up with flowers. Sunday we did some things around the house, I got a card from everyone with one of my favorite gifts of all, an iTunes gift card inside. I also got the usual and very special gifts from the kids that they make in school, got treat to lunch and also another nap.

Now the details on the gifts I bought for my mom and mother-in-law that I promised last week. There is a stained glass store in town. I never went in but am so glad I did. Their stuff is amazing. They can make anything you want. I got the mothers sun catchers. But this store makes windows, panes that are large that hang on big windows, they sell all the stuff to do your own stained glass, the panes, the torches, the patterns, solder. You name it they have it. It may well be a new addiction for me.

Decisions

I have been mulling over in my head whether or not I should go back to work in September as originally planned. This weekend I said something to John about it finally. He said as I thought he would, "it's up to you." So as it stands right now the choice is up to me go back to work in September 2008 or go back to work in September 2009. Realistically the choice is easy. I am not sure why I am having such a hard time making it though. I don't have to make it right away though so I won't. It is hard being a grown up sometimes.

Say a Prayer

Samuel has his angel wings and is free of a body that was filled with pain. That precious little boy held on for 4 years, no one can dispute the fact he was a fighter! If you have not been following Samuel's story here is his page. Samuel's Updates You will need a Kleenex. He was an amazing boy with amazing courage and faith. His mother and whole family are simply amazing, encouraging, and beautiful and I wish them peace. I am sure this is a tough time for the whole family and Mother's Day will be especially hard for Samuel's mama, if you could and are the praying type say a prayer for this family. If you are not the praying type, take something from this, hold you child a little closer, hug a little tighter, kiss them an extra kiss at night, give them that extra moment they are asking for. Be thankful. Be thankful in all things.

Rain Rain Go Away

So it is another rainy gloomy day, I have a headache that is making my head feel as if it will split into two any second and my asthma is kicking my behind, but hey at least I am not cranky today. Tomorrow is supposed to be nice though and we are headed to Cape May County Zoo with family. It should be really nice, and is free by the way, all they ask for is a donation. If you are ever in south Jersey I totally suggest it! I am most looking forward to the giraffes, which are my favorite animal. I am hoping they are close to the walkway this time, which they rarely are. I would love to get some good pictures.

Speaking of zoos, our house is becoming some sort of wildlife sanctuary. We have bird nests all over the place. In all the bushes surrounding the house, behind the shed, on the house on our gutter guards. And that squirrel I mentioned a few weeks ago is still hanging around to my dismay. I keep looking in our front tree looking for a nest but I still haven't spotted one. He spends an awful lot of time going up and down that tree though. Did I mention I hate squirrels? A lot! This sucker seems to know it to and I feel he mocks me and whips past my feet as I walk out the front door at least once a day. I thought a few days in, maybe he will grow on me, I have now decided, he will not.

After picking Jewel up this afternoon I went Mother's Day shopping for my mother and mother-in-law. I patronized a local store that I look through the window of a lot but have never ventured into. Going in was a mixed blessing I think. It is an awesome store, I see myself going back too often, but at the same time, I see myself over spending there as well. I can't go into too much details or I will give it away. More details after Sunday though, I promise. Tonight we are headed back out to buy part two of the presents and I am also going to buy some bottled water. For what? Sea-Monkeys. I did the whole sea monkey thing as a kid and thought I would afford my kids the same experience. I am going to do some research first though so they won't be disappointed like I was.

Well I need to get off my duff so the girls can get on Webkinz, and I can find some dinner and start straightening up the house because everyone is meeting here tomorrow on the way to the zoo. I may not be back this weekend to blog, with any luck I will have a fun filled weekend. If I am not back, I want to say, HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!!!!!!

Haircut

For a child who has serious sensory issues, one of them regarding her hair she did wonderful! She has been talking about getting her hair cut shorter for a couple weeks now and starting in about it again when she got home from school today but then said no when I suggested we go when Amber got off the bus. We started talking about it again during dinner and she decided when we were done eating she would go. The first one is obviously the before shot and the second one is the after shot. It still looks a little funny because it is still a little wet and she insisted I take the picture outside where it is a little on the windy side tonight. She absolutely loves it!

Oh the mood

Today is the first day in about a week that I have not walked, due to the weather. Now I am not sure if how I feel can be attributed to not walking or is a coincidence, but I am moody, short tempered, and just feeling like crap in general. Wow, there may be something to this exercise thing after all. I have not changed my eating habits at all unfortunately, and still I have lost 4 pounds this week so far. Awesome! Well like I said I am moody and have little else to say and a mound of laundry to do because Jewel peed in Carlos' bed last night, hehe, so this will be all.

Just stuff

Yeah I totally suck. I flaked. I did not start my organizational ways like I said I would. I did print my chore list though so I had good intentions. Yesterday was a day of a whole lot of nothing. Well not entirely, I walked. Which was awesome, I read, and I ummmm ::::cough cough::: took a little nap. Then after dinner we walked again this time as a family and we also went to the park. So sort of uneventful. I did walk a total of about 4 miles though.

Today after getting the kids off to school I went and picked up my sister like planned and we walked. Then we hung out back here, oh the horror. She saw my house at it's messiest, now she and my mother are probably gossiping about it and me, oh no. (((Shout out to Kelly and Mom!!!))) And then…….we went thrift store shopping and out to lunch and more thrift store shopping and wouldn't you know it here I am now, wasting more time. I did start the dishwasher though and as soon as I get Amber off the bus I am going to get cracking on the kitchen because I plan on making calzones for dinner tonight. I had a good time though, me and my sister don't really hang out and have "sister time" all that often.

So anyway. Tomorrow's the day. This time I mean it. No really I do, stop laughing. I am going to head into the office first thing in the morning to tie up some loose ends and then I am coming straight home to whip this house into shape, or at least start. A wise woman once told me I would spend less time napping if I was more organized because I wouldn't mind staying awake if I were seeing a clean house. She seems to think I sleep to avoid the mess. So we'll see. I also had some words for this wise woman, I am on the hunt for you and YOU know what I mean. Never say never. =)

Oh and I lost 2 pounds this week already. Yay me! Now a little over 50 to go! I need to stay motivated!

Organizing laziness

Today I am determined to set some sort of system into place. This home is chaos. Schedules are crazy especially with baseball right now; they are going to get worse as soon as more therapy starts, and well everything suffers. We eat out too often, the house is never clean enough, things are just in a major state of disorganization, and well my laziness does not help at all. Most days I have no ambition to do a single thing. The kids have a little over a month left of school and I am really trying to take advantage of my time alone by, sleeping, of course. Big eyeroll at me!


I used to use a chore list. It broke down what needed to be done every week onto a daily basis and it worked great. But like most things I didn't stick with it. That's a little problem I have, I have trouble sticking with things. But I think I am going to go back to my chore list. I actually should still have the list saved in Microsoft Word. But something has to be down. I have even broke Mr. Perfection John who said he is now used to the state of things. UGH! That's not good to hear. I want to be more organized, I swear I do, I just, well I really have no excuse, so it starts today!

My name is Holly

I do not like being called anything outside of my name. Well not entirely true. I love my Mommy title and I get annoyed if my husband calls me anything other than Honey. You see my husband always calls me Honey so if he calls me anything other than Honey it bothers me. Yes even if he calls me Holly it bothers me. Do not even get me started on Freckles. He thinks it is such a cute nickname, for me it brings back terrible childhood memories.


But I do not like people calling me anything other than Holly. I do not like Miss, Ma'am, Mrs. S****. I especially hate Hol! People tend to call me Hol often and I hate it. I would not dream of shortening someone's name. Especially someone I do not know, or someone I do not know well. I hate Hol. I can tolerate it though when someone I know calls me it. I cringe when someone I do not know well call me it. Silly, huh? Bigger things to worry about? Sure. But it's one of those things. It bothers me the same way that chalkboards bother me, the same way hearing people eat bothers me. It's just one of those things. So hey, here's a heads up, if we ever have the pleasure of meeting, please call me Holly. Thank you! =)

New Jersey

I am really tired of the bad rap that New Jersey gets. We are the joke of the nation. Okay so it's well deserved in some areas like politics and corruption. Our taxes are outrageous, car insurance is insane. But we are not that bad. Our land is beautiful. We do not deserve all the jokes, we are not the armpit of the nation, we do not all talk the same, we do not all have family members in the mob, we do not all have chemicals buried in our back yards, the whole state does not smell like rotten eggs.

The truth is our state is such a diverse land. How many states have forests, seashores, fields and bogs of veggies and fruits, historical battlefields, mountains, rivers, pinelands, historical lighthouses. We have all of that. Sometimes in the same county, or even the same town. I can drive from one side of my town to the other and go from bayside to countryside, literally. My town smells of nothing but salty air, no chemicals, no rotten egg smell, we do not talk like the Nanny or Tony Soprano, and no, we are not from New Jesoooiy. When it comes time to get a Christmas tree, we go 5 minutes from our home and cut down a pine tree on a tree farm. A Christmas tree farm 10 minutes from the bay. Who would have thought that? We have wildlife, tons of it. We are called the Garden State for a reason.

I can travel less than 30 minutes in any directions from my home and be in the mountains, go picking fruits and veggies, be at the shore, be at an amusement park, climb the stairs of a lighthouse, go fishing in the ocean, the list goes on and on. Yes we have industry here, in parts of our state not our WHOLE state. Our state doesn't smell, our state isn't a garbage dump, we all aren't the same in the way we talk and dress, and no our hair is not a mile high (although maybe in the 90's it was). I am from New Jersey, and proud of it!

Happiness children bring...

So my little angel made me the most heart melting little drawing today at school. She was so cute about it too. I picked her up and she had to carry her backpack. OK that's weird. Then she gets in the van and I catch her peeking in her backpack, looking very sneaky about it I might add. I figured she must have something in there she shouldn't have, I think I better check when I get home. When we get home she again grabs the backpack, then tells me she has a surprise. And out pops this drawing. The drawing totally made up for the fact she was a beast during the next hour or so until she fell asleep with me on the couch. I knew she was exhausted, because lately she doesn't act that way for no good reason thankfully. She looked so cute sleeping with the sun shining on her face, I had to take a picture.

My ray of sunshine!

So yesterday both girls were home from school for different reasons. One with an ear ache the other a bellyache. We played on Webkinz for most of the day. All 3 of us. I am actually quickly becoming addicted to Webkinz and Amber, my 5 year old, is teaching me everything I know about it so far. So while I was trying helplessly to solve one of her Webkinz issues, I asked her is she could get me a tissue. She comes back and hands it to me with a disappointed look on her face. I ask her what was wrong. She went on a rant about how I was killing trees, how I should not use tissues, but a rag I could wash and use again. I love it! I have a tree hugger. I knew quite a while back how much she cared about our Earth when we went fishing and she took along a bag to clean up the garbage. =) She makes me so proud. Reduce, recycle, reuse!!!!!!