You know those types of parents, you see them out and you stare. You wonder why they treat their children that way. You think to yourself you never did that or never would do that. You think it's cruel, humiliating, treatment meant for an animal. You think if the parent would only pay more attention. Well I know what you think, I thought all this too, until now. Now I am that parent who will probably be getting the stares. I bought Jewel a "leash."
It is actually a backpack looking harness that is a monkey and the tail is the "leash." I do not walk her around by the tail part. I loop the tail on my wrist as the safety and I make her hold my hand. The tail is on my wrist for when she breaks free from my hand, because I know she will. Did I ever think I would be the type of parent who would use one of these types of things on their children? No way. Was there a time I looked down on people that did? Sure was. That is until about 3 years ago or so until I heard the stories of a few parents who had children who made them necessary, then I understood. I am now one of these parents.
Most of you are probably thinking, control your child. You are the parent. Look, I know this. Things are not always black and white, there are shades in between. When you have three children, which in reality is not all that many, sometimes your attention is a little diverted at the exact second your child decides to dart across an area that is unsafe, sometimes deadly. It happens, to the best of us, and no I am not making excuses. Jewel has some issues; her speech issue, some sensory issues, yes behavioral issues. I know some people that know me and our family may feel I treat her differently and am a little softer on her than I am on the other kids, and this may be true in some sense. But I think until you are a parent of a child with special needs, you can't really understand the thought process. Or maybe my thought process is a little skewed? My thought is Jewel faces so many obstacles in day-to-day life, so many things we take for granted are a challenge to her, so I pick and choose my battles with her. Why make things more of a battle for her, why make life tougher? Do I let her get away with blatantly horrid things, no. Do I let what I consider small things to slide sometimes, do I let her meltdown and ignore it, do I reward her when she gets home from school daily with a bag of M&M's, yes, yes, and yes.
It is actually a backpack looking harness that is a monkey and the tail is the "leash." I do not walk her around by the tail part. I loop the tail on my wrist as the safety and I make her hold my hand. The tail is on my wrist for when she breaks free from my hand, because I know she will. Did I ever think I would be the type of parent who would use one of these types of things on their children? No way. Was there a time I looked down on people that did? Sure was. That is until about 3 years ago or so until I heard the stories of a few parents who had children who made them necessary, then I understood. I am now one of these parents.
Most of you are probably thinking, control your child. You are the parent. Look, I know this. Things are not always black and white, there are shades in between. When you have three children, which in reality is not all that many, sometimes your attention is a little diverted at the exact second your child decides to dart across an area that is unsafe, sometimes deadly. It happens, to the best of us, and no I am not making excuses. Jewel has some issues; her speech issue, some sensory issues, yes behavioral issues. I know some people that know me and our family may feel I treat her differently and am a little softer on her than I am on the other kids, and this may be true in some sense. But I think until you are a parent of a child with special needs, you can't really understand the thought process. Or maybe my thought process is a little skewed? My thought is Jewel faces so many obstacles in day-to-day life, so many things we take for granted are a challenge to her, so I pick and choose my battles with her. Why make things more of a battle for her, why make life tougher? Do I let her get away with blatantly horrid things, no. Do I let what I consider small things to slide sometimes, do I let her meltdown and ignore it, do I reward her when she gets home from school daily with a bag of M&M's, yes, yes, and yes.
So anyway I did get Jewel a harness buddy because I feel her running off is a dangerous behavior that we need to correct. She has run into the middle of streets, parking lots, through stores and we can't find her, and so on. I hold her hand with her "tail-leash" wrapped on my wrist in case she breaks the hold of my hand. The idea is to get her used to holding my hand. She hates her monkey buddy and I am using that as a tool. I told her as soon as she learns to walk nicely, not let go of our hand, etc she wouldn't need monkey anymore. Yesterday was our first day with monkey. She has already escaped the harness without even unclipping it, we got a few looks, but I know this will take some time and the looks well we will have to suck up and deal with, because I used to give those looks and karma sucks. But my Jewel will be safe in the meantime.
1 comment:
Don't feel bad... the only ones giving you the dirty looks are the ones who just don't understand. It's a look of ignorance.
I had the puppy version of that harness for Niko, prompted by a day at the library where I was writing a check out for some late fees and he wriggled out of my grasp, made it through the double automatic doors, and was halfway to a very busy parking lot next to the courthouse.
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